Page 36 of Erik's Redemption
Her words played over in his head again and again. He was a coward. But the truth wouldn’t save them—it would only hurt her. Because she’d have to choose—believe Erik and lose the image she’d had of her foster brother; or choose her foster brother and believe Erik had killed him in cold blood.
Sweat dripped from his skin as he jabbed the bag, his chest burning with exertion. Every minute bled into the next and none of them were enough.
When the door to the basement opened, he didn’t turn. It was like something inside him couldn’t stop. Because when he stopped, he’d be thrust back into reality. A reality that hurt too goddamn much to return to.
“Erik?” His mother’s soft voice clicked into his brain.
Jab, cross punch.
“Honey, are you okay?”
Her voice was close…too close. He wanted to shout at her to turn around and leave him alone. That he wasn’t safe to be around right now. But fuck, was there ever a safe time to be around him? He’d lost so many people from his life.Hewas the common denominator. He was like a poison.
“Erik, stop and look at me.”
It was when she touched him that his arms finally dropped, but only because he didn’t want to swing an elbow back and hit her.
He didn’t turn though. Instead, he leaned his head forward onto the bag and just breathed, the ragged air loud as it choked through his lungs.
A soft hand touched his back. “Baby, talk to me.”
He scrunched his eyes closed, something about his mother’s voice thrusting him back to when he was a kid. Making the hurt inside him ripple and fray.
“What’s wrong?” she whispered.
One deep, shuddering breath…then the words fell from his chest. “I’m not sure I’m gonna survive this, Mom.”
She smoothed her hand over his aching flesh. “Tell me the problem, and I’ll tell you how we can fix it.”
He was shaking his head before she’d finished speaking. “You can’t fix this one.”
“Try.” One whispered word that held so much weight.
He straightened and pulled off his gloves. The second he dropped them into the box, his mother pulled him over to the weight bench. She didn’t push him to speak. She didn’t pester him with questions. She just waited, as if she knew he needed time.
“I did something,” he said quietly. “And it’s going to ruin us.”
His mother took a moment to consider his words. “Us, being you and Hannah.”
He nodded, and in that nod, he felt the weight of its devastation. “I’ve tried telling her so many times, and she’s basically been begging me. But whenever the words crawl up my throat, I just can’t get them out. Because I know as soon as they reach her ears…they’ll ruin her, and I’ll lose us. Fuck, I’ve probably lost her anyway. So now I need to figure out how to survive that. How to survive living without her.”
His mother wrapped an arm around his shoulders. “Baby, you’ve been through so much pain in your life. You’ve lost more than any one person should ever lose. And I understand why you’ve always run from that pain. But what we run from always finds us.” She leaned her head closer. “It’s time to stop running and tell her what she needs to know. Thenfight.”
Hehadbeen running, for so long. He’d been running so fucking far and fast that he’d lost all sense of direction.
His breathing hitched at the thought of confessing to Hannah. His mother pulled him into her arms, and he let the weight of what he had to do swamp him. Gut him. Drown him.
CHAPTER 12
Hannah’s feet sank into the wet ground as she made her way from her house to Erik’s. She’d seen his Corvette leave an hour ago, and she’d spent her time since then packing a bag.
Her heart rattled in her chest at the thought of leaving her home, but she didn’t let herself collapse to the floor a second time. She was stronger than that. She had to be.
With steady fingers, she dug the key from her pocket and pushed it into the lock of Erik’s front door. She’d been in here a few times over the last week to grab bits and pieces, but this felt different. Because todaywasdifferent. She wasn’t grabbing a few things here and there…she was taking everything. Erasing all traces of her life from his house.
Her breaths shortened as she stepped inside and keyed the code into the alarm, but she forced the air into her lungs to keep moving.
The soft thud of the door closing was loud behind her, and every step she took up the stairs felt like it required all of her energy. When she reached the bedroom, her gaze ran over his bed…a bed they’d shared. It had been a place of safety for a while. Then he’d started disappearing on her, and suddenly ithad shifted into something else. Into the place that represented loneliness, where she merely waited for the man who so rarely returned to her.
