Page 86 of Dearly Betrayed

“What do we do now?”

“Come here.”

I take a step forward. It kills, that single step, because it makes the hope coiled around my heart grow roots. Another step, and the hope slithers up my spine into my throat. Another and it blooms, a horrible flower, big enough to choke me.

He moves then. Comes to meet me halfway, striding forward in just his towel still, releasing his grip on the hold to wrap me in both his arms, to pull me tight against his bare chest, his beautiful lips coming down to meet mine, and that hope turns into a forest, turns into something big and bright and leafy and green and rioted-through with colors as he kisses me deep, tasting me like he’s been dreaming of this moment since he was a little boy, and maybe I have been dreaming of it too since I was a girl, dreaming of finding a partner that can make me feel something so big, so vast, so beautiful. It’s a kiss that never ends, and a kiss that lasts only moments before his hands are exploring me and the desperation I feel turns into some warmth, then something hot, then something burning into my core.

I take off my shirt. Fuck it. I shimmy out of my sweats. My bra comes next, fuck that too, and his hands are on my breasts, god, it feels so good. I moan his name, because fuck being shy too, fuck my pride and my honor, fuck everything but him.

“I couldn’t stop myself,” he says, voice thick with lust. The towel falls away. Fuck that towel. “I wanted to stop it so badly. I hoped killing might drown it out, but it didn’t help.”

“I missed you so much,” I say, whimpering as he sucks a nipple, his other hand gripping my ass. “I missed you so fucking much, Jayson.”

“I wanted to stop loving you and needing you but it wouldn’t shut up. I don’t think it ever will.” He pulls me to the bed and pushes me down, smothering me with his body, his cock hard against my skin as he rains kisses down my chest, my lips, my neck, touching me and praising me, and moaning about how much he’s needed this.

I come alive then. I wake up from a nightmare as he dips between my legs and licks me. He’s not taking his time, it’s the ravenous licking and sucking of a man that hasn’t done anything but dream about licking and sucking for an entire lifetime. I dig my fingers into his hair, into my husband’s hair, and I pull it, gratified by the throaty growl of bliss and pain. He sinks two fingers deep inside, and that feels like he’s splitting me in half, rebuilding me in blocks of ecstasy.

“I need you,” he says, shrugging up, his tip against my soaked pussy. “I need you right now. I have to fuck you, Fallon. I have to make you come and I need to fill you to the brim. I need to remember.”

“Remember what?” I moan as he sinks himself deep inside of me, flooding my brain with bliss.

“I need to remember what it feels like to be whole again.”

He sinks in deeper, deeper, then fucks me like he can’t control himself. I grind against him, dragging my clit against his pubic bone, moaning with a wild abandon I never knew I could feel. This man took everything from me but he’s given me back so much more, and now I’m going to hold onto him, onto this moment, as tightly as I can. I bite his lip and gasp as we fuck, sweating and moaning, mindless in our slick union, until my back arches and I scream his name as he sucks my nipple and bites down hard. I come so hard my vision tunnels, nearly turns black, but he’s unrelenting. He fucks me with a hand on my throat, whispering how much he loves me, how much he needs me, this man of violence, this man of death and life and bliss, and he comes deep between my legs in a vicious spurt that leaves me gasping for air.

His arms wrap around my body and I drift into him, feeling like I’m in two places at once: in this bed, and in his body. Like we’ve melded together.

After a little while, once my heart calms down and my head’s clear enough to form a coherent thought, I tilt my chin up and kiss him.

“Why did you come back?” I ask.

“Because I missed you.”

“But why now?”

“I’m sorry, it sounds like you’re complaining. Should I lock you in the guest room until you beg for me to fuck you again?”

I chew my lip. “Is that all this is? You came back for sex?”

His face softens. “No, my wife. That’s not why I came back.”

“Then why now?”

“When I was out there killing, I kept asking myself why I was doing it. If I didn’t love you, why did I care so much about hurting the men that wanted to hurt you? I knew the real answer, but I couldn’t let myself think it, and that’s when I realized. With you, I can be more than a thug with a gun. I can be a man. I can have hopes, dreams, a family. I saw what I’d become, and it was so obvious where I needed to be.”

I let out a little sob. He hugs me tight to his chest and holds me there, stroking my hair. “I’m glad you’re back,” I manage, which makes him laugh.

Chapter39

Jayson

The next morning, after we spend the night getting reacquainted and working out all our pent-up desires, I sit her down in the living room and explain how things are. “Adler still doesn’t trust you and there are still three men out there who want to kill you.”

“Could be worse, right?”

I kneel down in front of her, my hands on her knees and stare into her eyes. “You need to understand how dangerous things are right now. I’ll find and end the last three, but if we’re going to do this, we need to find a way to convince Adler that you’re not playing me.”

“I’m not,” she says, her eyes going wide.

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