Page 81 of Dearly Betrayed

I don’t want to do it—but I will for the family, even if it kills me.

Chapter36

Fallon

After another day of captivity, Casey appears in my doorway. “I come bearing freedom.”

“Jayson wants to talk?” I feel sick to my stomach and pathetic for the way my heart starts racing with excitement, but the pity in Casey’s eyes ruins my hope.

“Sorry, I tried, but he’s being stubborn.” She gestures for me to follow her into the condo. The place is empty—no guards, no Jayson. “I negotiated for you though, and he agreed to let you have the whole condo. Adler also said you’ll be allowed to have some supervised trips out onto the casino floor or down to the beach if you want.”

I slump against the kitchen counter, feeling like a thousand little bugs are trying to claw their way up my throat. “Basically, I’m still screwed.”

“Don’t look at it that way. If Adler and Jayson were angry enough to hurt you, they would’ve done it by now. That’s a good sign, right?”

“A better sign would be my husband striding through that door and telling me he can’t live without me.”

“You really want that, don’t you?” Casey looks genuinely sad as she says it.

“That’s the messed-up part. When I stole those documents, I was convinced that I’d hate Jayson for the rest of my life. But then things changed, and now I can’t imagine being without him.”

“God, that’s so freaking sad.”

“Hey, I know I’m pathetic, you don’t need to point it out.”

“Oh, god,” she says, covering her mouth. “That came out wrong. What I mean was, Jayson totally feels the same way.”

I stare at her, heart beating into my throat. “Don’t say shit like that right now, please.”

“I mean it, he’s a total wreck. Drinking too much, stalking around the casino, brooding. I think he’s taking this harder than you are.”

“Then why isn’t he here right now?”

“You know why.”

And she’s right. I grew up in a clan, and it’s not so different from this mafia family. We had rules and we took them seriously—and the biggest rule, the most important rule of all, was never, ever,everbetray the clan, no matter what. Faith and loyalty were everything.

From Jayson’s perspective, I broke the one rule that really mattered. I committed the cardinal sin and damned myself, and now there’s no turning back.

Casey comes around and hugs me. A little human contact feels good, and I let her talk me into going for a walk outside. The fresh air feels good, and although I keep hoping I’ll catch a glimpse of my former husband, I don’t get my hopes up.

We’re trailed by six guards as we head down to the beach. Casey goes nice and slow, and she leans against my arm after a little while.

“I know what you’re thinking,” she says, giving me a little smile. “And yes, it really does hurt this much.”

“Does going for a walk like this make it worse?”

“Totally, but sometimes I want it to ache, you know? Reminds me that I can still move around at least.”

“I’m sorry you have to deal with that.”

“Eh, you know, it’s just a part of my life. You can call it a disability, a handicap, a burden, whatever, but for me it’s just what it’s like to be me.”

“I wish I could be that strong.”

She nudges my arm. “It’s not strength. If I could fix my fucking leg, I absolutely would in a heartbeat. It’s just… learning to be who you are.”

“Well, then I wish I could learn to be who I fucking am right about now.”

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