Page 25 of Dearly Betrayed

“I mean it. I’m going to do it.” I grab his arm and stop walking because he needs to understand. “This man killed Papa. You hear me? He killed Papa. I don’t care what kind of deal you made with him, I don’t care about the war or anything else. Papa’s dead. I have to do something.”

The guilt’s still there. Crushing, infecting me. I let that monster Jayson get me off last night and I liked it so much it makes me sick. I can’t let it happen again, but I’m afraid it might, and I don’t know what I’ll do when things escalate. And they will escalate.

Which means I have to do this thing, this ugly thing. I have to destroy my husband if I want any chance at freedom.

“I don’t want you to,” he says at least.

“I know you don’t.”

“It’s dangerous. I want you to just have a good, comfortable life. That’s what I want.”

“I can’t, not while I’m here. It doesn’t matter what you say, I’m only telling you because I might need your help at some point. Either way, it’s happening.”

He nods slowly, looking resigned. “I hate this.”

“Yeah, welcome to the club, Chim.” I turn and start walking. He falls into step.

This is the end for me. I don’t tell him that, but there isn’t anything else after what I have to do. Maybe he understands that on some level, or maybe he doesn’t, but when I find the nasty bits that Jayson wants to keep hidden and expose them to the people that can do him serious harm, whether that’s law enforcement or a rival family, my life is forfeit. The others will know it’s me, and it won’t matter how much Isabel and Casey and Hellie like me.

I’ll be dead. That’s how it goes in this world.

It’s possible I can escape before it goes down. I’ll hold on to that hope, but it won’t drive me.

Revenge for Papa will keep me going.

I don’t care that I loved it when Jayson called me his good girl. When he licked my nipples and fucked me with his fingers and made me come with ease. I don’t care about anything but staying alive long enough to bring him down.

That’s all I am and all I can ever be now that I’ve married a monster.

Chapter12

Jayson

Adler’s office is too warm as a fire crackles in the hearth. I’m tempted to stomp it out, but that would only annoy him. Instead, I pour myself a drink as he finishes up a conversation with one of the local capos about some zoning issues they’re running up against in trying to get a new restaurant built.

“Why not have your little congressional spy deal with that?” I ask him, taking a seat in front of his desk.

“Because Tony Vetch is only used in emergencies. This is beneath his influence.”

I wave that off. “Come on, what’s the point of having him in our pocket if we’re not putting him to use? It’s like having a Ferrari in the garage, but only ever driving the Nissan.”

“Vetch is not a Ferrari.” Adler’s lips press together. “At best, he’s a fancy Tesla. At best.”

“You get what I’m saying.”

“This zoning thing will clear itself up. We have legitimate lawyers for this sort of business, and getting Vetch involved is a risk. Besides, we’re on much better terms now than we used to be, and I don’t want to risk screwing that relationship up again.”

“Amazing how things change. Now the two of you are best friends.”

He gives me a hard look. “I am not friends with that man, but we do have a mutually beneficial arrangement.”

“Right, you give him money and political capital, and he gives you protection and influence.”

“A very good relationship, like I said.”

I lean back, grinning at my brother. I’m not sure the man’s had any kind of human connection that didn’t involve some sort of transaction beyond his wife and children. Even I feel like all he wants is my hard work and my dedication to the family, and it doesn’t matter what I want for myself. So long as the transaction makes sense.

But that’s when I’m being uncharitable. For the most part, Adler’s a good Don. He’s fair, hard when he needs to be, decisive and hardworking. He cares about the family, and not just about the prestige of the Costa name, but about all the people who he employs. From car-washers to cooks to dealers to Capos. He takes care of them all, and sometimes the burden gets to him.

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