Page 2 of Dearly Betrayed

“No, you’re right. I know this is asking a lot. But if you think I haven’t sacrificed, you’re even more blind than I thought.” Rian steps forward, staring at me, his usual mask cracked a touch. The sorrow in his expression feels like a hammer against my spine. “I married the gun as a lad. I grew up killing and waiting to die. That’s still all I know. The pride of the clan. My life for the blood. Then Papa dies and I’m named chief, and now I’ve got to find a way to end this madness before more of our people die and we end up wiped out completely. You think I like talking with those American bastards? God damn them, Fallie, I want to kill them all, but swallowing my pride’s all I can do.”

“More like selling mine.” I know it isn’t fair. I can tell it hurts him the moment the words leave my mouth, but I’m so damn mad. “I know, it’s tough, the boys go out and fight while the women stay behind to suffer through it all. Only you’re not asking me to pick up a gun, Chim. At least that would be doing something. No, you’re asking me to give myself away to some bastard I hate for the rest of my life. You know that? Might as well kill me now.”

He’s silent. Only stares at me. I breathe hard, sucking in air. Why the hell’s this happening? Now of all times? I’m still gutted from Papa’s death, barely holding on to my sanity, clinging to the clan tighter than I ever have before, and now Rian’s asking me to do something so sick and twisted it makes me want to puke my guts up.

It’s an impossible choice.

All I have to do is give myself away to a monster and I can save everyone I know.

Well, fuck.

When I start to think of it like that, I soften a touch. I’m still pissed, but I turn and pace, ignoring the soldiers Darragh and Padraig as they studiously pretend not to notice me. Did they hear about this? Might’ve, since Padraig’s close with Rian, and Darragh’s his cousin. The fuckers came to my execution. For my own protection.

“How do you know it’ll work?” I turn on Rian. Rage in my heart, but it’s not a forest fire anymore. Only a little ember, burning away. All the clan’s dead keeping it lit, but all the clan’s living keeping me from losing my mind. “They could just kill me and keep coming for us.”

“They could,” he agrees. “But we have other deals in place. Business relationships that’ll tie the families tightly together. The marriage is the last step.”

“You’re serious about this. I expect you’ll be wanting some nieces and nephews?”

“They’ll be Costas. I’d rather you didn’t.”

I stare at him, eyes wide, then burst out laughing. His lips press together in a grim smile. It’s not really funny, but hell, I’m too fucked up to care.

“It’ll save the clan, huh?” I calm myself and lean against a huge pillar attached to the mausoleum. “What a fucking pitch.”

“I know, Fallie.” He leans next to me. “I hate it too.”

“And if I say no?”

“We’ll find another way. Maybe one of the cousins. I was thinking Quinnie.”

I groan, looking up at the sky. This manipulative bastard knows what he’s doing. Cousin Quinnie, four years my junior, barely out of university, shy and quiet and skinny little Quinnie. “You’ve gotta be fucking joking.”

“There aren’t many options right now, you know, and it’s got to be someone close to the heart of the clan. If not you, then Quinnie. If not her, then Orla, and if not her, well, I’ll find someone.”

“Fuck.” I rub my face with both hands. There’s not much anger left. I keep picturing shy little Quinnie in a wedding dress sold off to those American bastards, her big eyes bugged out and terrified, her little head of tight curls bouncing up and down as she’s dragged into some brute’s wedding bed.

Fucking bastard, Rian. He knows what he’s doing, putting that image in my head, but it isn’t a lie. He’ll go to Quinnie next, and she’ll be too spineless to say no.

“It’s all fucked, no matter how it goes.” Rian gazes out over the graves. “I don’t want it to be you, either.”

“There’s got to be another way.”

“We’ve been discussing it since Papa died. This is the best we came up with.”

“I’ll hate him. You know that.”

“I know.”

“I might hate you a little bit too.”

“I know. Another sacrifice for the clan.”

I groan, squeezing my eyes closed, and sink down to the ground. I sit with my knees pulled to my chest. My ass gets damp from the rain-slicked concrete. Rian sits next to me, posture slumped and exhausted.

We sit in silence like that for a while. I think of Quinnie and all the other Grady girls that’ll be dragged into this if I don’t say yes. A dozen good girls, virgin girls just like me, except they don’t have the choice like I do, and I’ll have to live with what happens if it’s one of them instead.

The clan gets what it needs in the end, whether we want it to or not, and if I can save one of my little cousins from this fate then I’ve got to do it.

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