Page 112 of For the Gods' Sake

“What did Damon mean?”

And there went the excitement. Chased away by thehot, uncomfortable weight of dread. “You’re asking me this now?”

“I’ve wanted to ask you since the second he said it. I was trying to wait for the right time.” He had a point. We’d spent most of our time together since that night dealing with this conspiracy or in bed. “But seeing as you’re attempting to leave me by the end of the night, now seems like as good a time as any.” Adrian paused, but clearly wasn’t done. He stepped closer, aligning our bodies and pressing me further into the car. “Give me this one last chance to know you.”

“You know plenty about me.”

Adrian shook his head, lightly chastising me. “I didn’t say know about you. I said know you.”

There was no greater show of love than truly understanding someone. And even though this was ending, I had a sick, urgent need to give him everything he needed to understand me. More than he already did.

Adrian could feel my concession because he took that as leave to place his hand on my shoulder, running it down my arm to grab my hand and anchor me even more.

He secured my body enough that my mind opened up. I breathed out, holding tight to his storm-gray eyes the entire time.

And then I began. “When I was younger, I’d have these stretches of time where I felt completely numb, my body operating at a depressed wavelength. I lost entire weeks to it. Some days I could function fine, just walking through my day in a fog. There were other days where getting out of bed felt like someone was asking me to scale a mountain.”

Adrian’s hold on me tightened.

“I didn’t really know what was happening, just that I didn’t feel right. I tried to tell my parents and they just seemed…it seemed like it was harder on them than it was on me. So when I went away to school, I just started acting like it wasn’t a problem anymore.” I would never forget how relieved my mother looked when I’d told her that I felt fine. Back to normal. Even if I’d felt that same fog descend the day prior.

“It didn’t go away, not entirely. I found a doctor and figured out some ways to manage it.” I just kept talking. I was expecting shame or fear or regret to trickle in, the same emotions that had flooded me when I tried to explain this to Damon.

But none came. Adrian’s hold on my eyes and my hand never wavered. So I kept talking. “But it still happens some days. I don’t think it will ever go away. But I have ways of making it better now. Or dealing with it.”

Adrian nodded slowly, looking like he was carefully processing each word. I stared at him silently, waiting for him to speak. “What makes it better?”

“Sometimes taking the day off. Sometimes just proceeding as normal and waiting for it to pass. But I just need to feel normal. The hardest part was feeling like I’d affected my parents.”

"So you just let it happen? Let it pass instead of trying to fix it?" Adrian asked and my chest immediately felt lighter.

He understood.

"Yes," I said, softly.

Adrian's hand passed over the perimeter of my face. "I should probably try that with my power. I know it's not the same thing, but I respect how you handle it."

He really needed to stop making me fall harder for him.

"And I should just treat you like normal?" he asked. "Let you ask me for what you need?"

I nodded, unable to form words.

Adrian’s chin dipped down once. “Done.” It sounded like a promise. He stepped away from me but still kept a solid hold on my hand. “Let’s go to Lounion.”

I stared at him with a slack jaw as he gathered a portal. He was just carrying on like the information simply helped him understand me but didn’t change how he viewed me.

And it was everything I could have ever asked for.

A wave of grief hit me as he pulled us through the portal, feeling frustrated tears well again at the thought that we were being ripped apart by something I couldn’t share with him and that he couldn’t fix.

I would find a way to kill Sebastian myself for doing this to us. Even if it killed me.

Adrian had landed us in a hallway I didn’t recognize. He flagged down a passing guard and asked them to grab Lady Poseidon for him.

It was weird hearing Daphne’s new title.

Within a minute, she rounded the corner quickly, looking like she’d half-jogged to get to us. “Adrian, can we please start scheduling these visits?”

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