Page 79 of The Gods Only Know

Rose nudged my knee softly. “Talk to him.”

My chest seized up, panicked already at the thought of how that conversation might go. “We haven’t really done much talking since I’ve been back.”

Rose’s eyebrow went sky high.

“Oh, no, not like that,” I clarified. “He’ll barely speak to me. Except for the very small breakdown I had in front of him earlier, we haven't exactly been best friends.”

Rose hummed, sounding like she was slightly disappointed.

“I’ll talk to him,” I continued. “Just not now. There’s so much going on and if he says he wants to end our engagement…I don’t think it's even possible. And I can’t deal with knowing that. It will steal my focus, instead of figuring out what’s going on with my power. And who hurt you.”

That was what I could give her. Answers.

Rose nodded, the explanation settling in. We sat in silence for a second, giving us both time to sip some tea. And for me to work up the courage to apologize to her.

“Did you really think he died?” Rose asked after a moment.

“Worst twenty minutes of my life.” I’d decided that dying before Lukas simply had to happen. Even if we spent the rest of our lives in tense silence, spending even a minute in the world without him seemed like the basest form of torture.

“I’m sorry you had to go through that.”

“I’m sorry I left without saying anything. I abandoned you,” I blurted. Well. That was one way to do it.

Rose chuckled lightly. “The drama.”

A small laugh jumped out of me.

“I won’t lie and say that I didn’t need you this past year. Or that I wasn’t hurt,” Rose said while I focused on keeping my breathing steady through the stinging guilt. I needed to hear this. “But hearing what happened…I can’t say that I entirely blame you.”

Understanding what I’d done wouldn’t erase the pain I’d caused her. “I’m still sorry. I left you to deal with your dickwad husband all by yourself.”

Rose let out a shocked laugh. “Oh, I’m definitely stealing that one. But we can’t change the past. I’m glad you’re here to hear the shit he does now.”

“Such as?” I asked, curious beyond measure.

“Well, for example, yesterday he told me that he doesn’t like bell peppers anymore.” There was such a whimsical look in Rose’s eyes it made me wonder if I looked like that when I talked about Lukas. Because if I did, I was nowhere near as good at hiding my feelings for him as I thought.

“Yeah, why’s that?”

Rose twisted her wedding ring around. “Because apparently they remind him of the time someone put a spider in my bag of peppers. And that upsets him.”

“Rose,” I said, taking her teacup out of her hand and setting it on the table. “Now is when you tell me the entire story.”

Her eyes bounced around my face and body, making sure I’d stopped shaking. “You’re okay?”

I nodded, settling in. “I’m okay. Now get talking.”

“Okay.” And then she was off, telling me the story of how their tumultuous marriage turned from wanting to kill each other to shockingly fierce love.

I listened to it all with rapt attention, barely noticing when the sun began to set.

We talked through another cup of tea. And then when I thought about returning home and sitting through another court dinner, or worse, a dinner by myself at a table that used to be one of my favorite places to pepper Lukas with questions, I asked to stay.

Dominic wasn’t around, leaving Rose and I to have dinner with Raiden and his husband Belen. We ate a new recipe Belen was trying, a light pasta full of citrus and herbs.

The slow comfortability of the dinner, full of easy laughs and mellow smiles, was everything I needed.

Well, mostly.

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