Page 97 of Messy Strokes (Wrecked Roommates)

“I got impatient.”

I roll my eyes. “I knew you weren’t gonna let it go.”

“You’re not the only stubborn one in this relationship, Mads.”

“Is that what we have? A relationship?”

“Yes, but stop trying to change the subject. I wanna know what’s going on.”

My nose scrunches, and I rest my head on his shoulder. “It’s nothing.”

“And I call bullshit. You’re keeping something from me.”

“I’m not trying to. I…” My heart picks up its pace, and my palms begin to sweat as I fist Penny’s blanket to keep him from seeing right through me. “It’s nothing.”

“How ‘bout what got you down a few minutes ago?” he presses. “Was it nothing too?”

“Are you always this pushy? ‘Cause I’m pretty sure we decided that was my job, remember?”

“You’re deflecting,” he notes.

“I don’t know what you want me to say.” My nervous energy rears its ugly head, and I fuss with Penny’s blanket a bit more when he grabs my hand and tangles our fingers together.

“I want you to tell me what’s going on.”

My nostrils flare as I look up at him. His kind eyes. His patient smile.

“You really want to know?”

“Yeah.”

“Fine,” I huff. “What’s bothering me is…I don’t deserve you. I don’t deserve you, and IknowI don’t deserve you, and––”

“Bullshit.”

“I don’t. And because I know I don’t deserve you––or any of this––I feel guilty.”

“Why?”

“Because of how I wound up back in your life.”

Gently dragging his fingers along the edge of my sleep shorts, he replies, “I’m grateful you’re back in my life, Madelyn.”

“Yeah, but would you still want me if it weren’t for…?” I look down at my little Peanut before I can stop myself, another wave of guilt hitting me square in the chest.

“If you were anyone else, I would’ve taken my responsibility as a dad and kept it separate from my relationship with you. But you’re not anyone else. You’reyou.”

“And that isn’t a bad thing?” I choke out, hating how vulnerable I sound.

“I care about you, Madelyn.”

“For how long?” I ask. “Everything’s so new, and––”

“For as long as you’ll have me.” He lifts my chin and presses a soft kiss against my mouth.

My lower lip quivers, so I suck it into my mouth and bite hard. When the slight tang of blood rolls over my tastebuds, I ask, “Despite the lies?”

“What lies?”

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