Page 40 of Messy Strokes (Wrecked Roommates)

His words jab the dagger in my chest a little deeper, my guilt flaring up like a rash, leaving me itchy and raw.

“Talk to me, Mads,” he orders, his gaze as sharp as ever.

I blink slowly and force a smile. “About what?”

“Don’t give me that shit. I know you. Why don’t you wanna rely on me?”

“It’s not that I don’t want to rely on you.”

“So, what is it?”

“I don’t know?”

“Tell me,” he orders.

“It’s nothing.”

“Bullshit.”

I suck my lips between my teeth and pick at the hem of my dress, admitting, “I guess I feel guilty.”

“For needing help?”

“Maybe.”

“In general? Or from me?” he asks, his pointed gaze making me squirm.

Even though I’m too much of a coward to look at him, I can still feel it. I can feel it deeply. Like he isn’t only looking at my face. But my soul. My emotions. My thoughts. And it’s a terrifying thing for a girl like me. A girl with secrets. Ones that would break the man in front of me if he ever realized the truth.

And I can’t let it happen.

“Answer the question,” he demands, grabbing my chin and forcing me to look at him. “Do you feel guilty for needing help frommeor people in general?”

The bite of pain grounds me as I dig my teeth into the inside of my cheek before muttering, “Both?”

“Why?”

“Because…” I pull away from his touch. “You’reyou.”

“So?”

“So, you’re strong. And brave. You face things head-on,” I point out. “We both know I’ve never been very good at facing anything directly.”

“So?” he repeats.

For a guy who’s so damn astute, he really is making me spell it out for him.

“So, I hate it when you see me as weak,” I reply.

“You’re not weak––”

“I am, though. Trust me. I am. And I feel like I have to be strong. All the time. For her.” I look down at the little nugget in his arms, and my chest tightens. She’s so small. So breakable.

“I get the pressure, Mads,” he tells me, “of being a good parent.”

The vulnerability in his voice makes me pause. I clarify, “I…I want to be a better parent than the ones who raised me.”

“You’re being too hard on yourself.”

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