Page 118 of Messy Strokes (Wrecked Roommates)

I’m lost.

And even though my love for Milo is real, and I have no doubt Penny’s love for Milo is real, I still feel like I’ve suckered him into loving me back. Into lovingusback.

And it isn’t okay.

But the idea of losing him because of the lie?

It’s even more unbearable. I don’t think I’d survive.

“Where’d you go?” Milo mumbles when a soft burp escapes Penny.

My eyelids flutter as I pull my bra and shirt back into place while avoiding his gaze. “Who? Me?”

“Yeah, you,” he grunts. “You still getting caught in the past?”

I bite my lip and shrug one shoulder, pasting on a stupid fake smile. So fake it hurts. “Maybe a little.”

“The same past you refuse to tell me about?”

“Maybe,” I hedge, hating how close he is to hitting the nail right on the head.

“Stop.”

“Stop what?”

“Stop thinking about it. Let it go.”

“Not quite so easy.”

“Bullshit.” He drops a kiss to my forehead. “Let it go.”

“Iwantto.”

“Then, do it.”

“Not quite so easy,” I repeat.

He doesn’t get it.

And he never will.

“Why not?” he asks.

“Because… Because I’m keeping something from you,” I blurt out and cover my hand with my mouth, shocked with every fiber of my being.

But I guess this is what guilt does. It bubbles up when you least expect it, tumbling out beneath the cracks in your conscience because it can’t handle the pressure anymore. And I’m so tired of handling the pressure.

I release a slow breath, convinced I’m about to puke all over the floor as my gaze stays zeroed in on the stupid coffee table in front of us. I can’t look at him. Hell, I can’t even breathe right now.

This can’t be happening.

This can’t be happening.

“Mads.”

I shake my head and close my eyes.

“Mads,” he repeats.

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