Page 111 of Unforgiving Saint (Starukhin Bratva)

“I think it’s the best piece in your collection,” Zhanna says as I turn from her to look at the painting.

A single chrysanthemum suspended above a body of water. Its thin petals look as if they’ve been carved into the canvas by a jagged knife, with hidden details that only Eden saw. Unbidden, her words echo in my ear.

It’s angry. But there’s also hurt. Helplessness. And guilt.

I know what I must do.

52

EDEN

CHRISTMAS NIGHT

It’s onlyeight thirty on Christmas night, and all day I haven’t been in the mood for presents or holiday cheer. I finally give up and go upstairs to sit by my bedroom window. I don’t have the energy or desire to do more than watch the snowflakes fall gently to the ground below. I glance over at the closed door and feel a little guilty for not being downstairs. But I can’t imagine Dad is too eager to keep celebrating either. The last time I saw him he was sitting in the kitchen listening to a true crime podcast.

I take a look around at the hot pink walls, the neatly arranged art books, and the plush stuffed animals on my twin bed.

Nothing’s changed in my pretty cage, except for me.

Soon, I’ll have a little girl of my own. I stare at the latest sonogram pictures again and that’s the only thing that makes me smile.

The world outside is cold and unforgiving, but it’s warm and safe in here. In Holtsville, my father will keep me safely tucked away from what’s out there, but this time, I’ll listen to him. Irest my cheek against the cold windowpane and welcome the boredom with a long sigh. Nikolai is out there somewhere, and my thoughts are consumed with him. Is he out there shooting or being shot at? If he had died, I would’ve lost him anyway.

No, thinking that way is no consolation.

I hug myself tight and imagine his touch on my skin. The way we loved was forbidden and dangerous, and it only made my heart crave him more. I’ll have my memories to keep me going in this quiet town, and I’ll remember how much he loved me while I raise our little girl.

The room blurs and I wipe away my tears. It will be hard to convince myself my life will be enough without Nikolai.

A sudden noise outside startles me, and I strain my ears, waiting to hear it again. In the quiet, the crunch of boots on snow somewhere near the house echoes like the earth shaking. My heart hammers as I duck down and peer over the windowsill. I search the darkness for the source of the sound.

Holding my breath, I watch a shadowy figure approaching, careful to stay in the shadows. Fear has been lurking, intensifying, and an icy grip keeps me motionless.

I wonder if I should crawl toward the door. The dark figure has me on high alert, but there’s something familiar about it.

The fear lifts off me when I recognize the way that shadow moves. It’s him. It’s Nikolai. I know it is. My heart leaps with joy, and I open the window.

“Nikolai,” I whisper, leaning out over the sill.

He stops to stare up at the windows on the second floor, and his gaze stops on mine. I watch him come toward my window.

It’s as if he’s reclaiming me, even from the distance between us.

“Eden,” he whispers. His voice is filled with both longing and a warning. He knows the danger we’ll be in if discovered, but he’s here, risking everything to see me again.

Our love has brought pain to those around us, but I have to risk it. I have to be with Nikolai, even for a night. As much as I want to protect my father, I can’t let Nikolai go. This stolen moment could bring disaster down on us, but the thought of losing Nikolai forever is unbearable.

“Be quiet,” I whisper, staring at his heavy snow-covered boots. “You’re making too much noise.”

“Eden,” he whispers. The sound of my name on his lips again sends tingles over my skin. I smile, but Nikolai doesn’t. He looks around cautiously as if someone is there. I hold still for a moment until I hear a noise downstairs and am satisfied that my father is in the house.

I shove the window completely open, letting the frigid air in, and whisper to him. “Nikolai, it’s okay. How did you find me?”

Nikolai emerges out of the darkness and stands below my window. “Michael Clark’s address is listed in the tax records online,” he laughs. He moves closer, and I can see the snow clinging to his jacket, his breath visible in the air. He looks up at me, and his grin turns into a wide smile.

I laugh too. “That’s a boring way to find someone.” My gaze darts toward my bedroom door. “You shouldn’t be here. You know what will happen if you’re caught,” I plead with him, though my heart doesn’t agree with what I say. “Please, Nikolai, you have to leave.”

He looks up at me, his eyes intense even in the shadows. A mischievous smile plays on his lips, but something darker lurks behind it. As much as I want him, I have accepted the truth. Our love is a ticking time bomb, and every second he remains here puts us both at risk.

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