Page 138 of Unforgiving Sinner (Starukhin Bratva)

Her gaze drifts to my still-flat stomach. “You haven’t told him, have you?”

“No,” I whisper, unable to meet her all-knowing gaze. “I haven’t.”

“You have to tell him.” Her voice is gentle but firm. “Keeping this from Kolya will only make things worse. You need to be honest with him, no matter how difficult it might be.”

“I wish it were that simple. But it’s not,” I reply with a bitter laugh. “He doesn’t love me.”

“That’s not true,” she reassures me. “Hedoeslove you, Eden.”

Scowling, I shake my head. “I heard what he said about me.”

Larissa sighs as if I’m being unreasonable. “He doesn’t want to love you, but he can’t help loving you.” Larissa reaches for my hand, and I let her take it. “Rurik was the same way. We were ill-matched. I was the boss’s daughter, and he was a soldier. One with an impressive family legacy but no rank. Rurik didn’t want to love me because of his duty to the Bratva. But I knew better. I’d catch him staring at me from across the room. He would dress up in a suit and offer to take me on my errands. But what it took was the first step. The scariest step.” She sighs. “Telling him the truth. The full truth.”

“Will he forgive me for keeping this a secret?” I whisper, unconvinced.

“Forgiveness isn’t something we’re given, Eden,” Larissa reminds me. “It’s something we earn through honesty and trust. If you want his trust, you’ll start by telling him.”

The conversation peters out, and we sit silently, listening to the rain. Even if I tell Nikolai … even if he accepts it, I can’t marry him. I’m in love with him more than anything, but I can’t overlook his determination to kill my father.

And I’m also selfish.

I’m afraid I’ll never be independent of anyone, especially now that I’m carrying the heir of the Starukhin Bratva.

I break the silence. “His need for me is possessive,” I confess. “It’s … controlling. When Nikolai proposed, it was to bind me to him, to trap me and then my dad.”

“Eden, he wants to protect you.”

“Is that what Rurik told you?” I look away as she scowls. “I’m caught in the middle of a war that’s bigger than both of us. Our families are using me like a pawn to destroy each other. And the pressure to choose a side, to betray my father … it’s tearing me apart.”

I take a deep breath and gather myself. “I love Nikolai, Lara. More than I ever thought possible. But I can’t imagine a future with him, not when our families are hell-bent on destroying each other.”

“Love isn’t easy, Eden,” Her gaze never leaves mine. “Loving someone can mean letting them go, even if it breaks your heart. You have to make a choice that I don’t envy.”

“Promise me something, Lara.” My throat tightens with emotion. “Promise me you’ll be careful. If anything happened to you, I couldn’t bear it.”

“Hey,” she says with a warm smile. “You don’t have to worry about me.”

“I’m worried for everyone now …” Then something that’s been bothering me pops into my mind. “Gunsyn and Alexander know I’m pregnant, and they didn’t tell Nikolai?”

Larissa’s expression darkens. “How do they know?”

“They also eavesdrop,” I reply. “They heard us when I was at your house.”

Larissa stands quickly from the chair, moving with shocking speed toward the door. “Eden, you have to tell him now. You’re putting him in jeopardy by not saying anything!”

The confusion is clear on my face. “How? What will they do to him?”

“Not what they will dowithhim,” Larissa cuts me off, “but what they can dowithouthim. I have to go. Promise me you’ll tell him. Before it’s too late.”

The door clicks shut behind Larissa, but her words echo in my head. I feel a shiver run down my spine as I wrap my arms around myself, trying to warm my body.

I get up and pace the room, ignoring my feelings of dread. I have to get it together. I don’t have time to sulk. Larissa is right; I need to tell him before it’s too late. But how do I do it in a way that allows me to keep everyone that I care about alive?

Thoughts race through my mind as I walk back and forth. But try as I might, I can’t figure a way out of this mess. I can’t imagine both Nikolai and my father in my life.

I pause by the window, watching the wind whip through the trees in the park below. A pale green wave appears, then erupts into dark green and back again. I liked storms as a kid. They gave me a good excuse to stay inside and avoid lying to my friends.

I didn’t have to explain why I couldn’t go outside when it rained.

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