Page 39 of Violent Reign (Violent Kingdom)

Nathan holds me closer to him, crushing me with his embrace, his big, strong hands running through my hair as he attempts to comfort me. “Not if I kill you first.”

He turns me back to him, tilting my chin up and kissing me on the lips. He just came in my mouth minutes ago, and it still tastes like him, but he doesn’t seem to care. He kisses me, long and deep, forcing his tongue against mine. I bite down hard, tasting his blood, and he pulls away with a grunt. “That wasn’t very nice,” he cautions me, but he doesn’t hurt me back.

Instead, he holds me, and he wipes my tears away ever so gently, like he loves me, and maybe he does, in his own, sick way. And maybe that’s the worst thing that could ever happen to me. To be loved by a monster.

“I’ll never be happy with you,” I weep, digging my fingers into his arm, feeling a small vindication as my nails draw blood.

“You think that now,” Nathan says, letting me claw at his skin, holding me tight. “But wait until you see these babies, Aves. It’ll all be worth it. I promise.”

I stare at him, dumbfounded. How can he believe I’ll ever be happy again? But then, I remember, he thinks these babies are his. I cradle them protectively in my hands, backing away from him. “Stay away from me,” I warn him.

Irritation flashes in his eyes as he follows me. “You’re not the one in control here, Avery. Don’t forget that. I can be kind, or I can be cruel. Do you want me to be cruel?”

He doesn’t understand that his kindness is cruelty. That his soft touch burns. That the orgasms he rips from my body are like electric shocks of torture.

“I hate you!” I scream. “Don’t you understand? I fucking hate you! You’ve taken the man I love. You’ve taken my father. You’ve taken any chance I have of children with somebody I don’t fucking despise,” I choke out, my words thick with emotion. Damn hormones. “You’ve taken my best friend. My home. You’ve taken mylife. What else do you want, Nathan?”

My words don’t seem to stir any emotional response in the man who I used to regard as my closest ally in this awful world. His eyes don’t shine with unshed tears as he flicks his gaze casually around the room. His mouth doesn’t quiver when his eyes come back to settle on me; no, his mouth only cracks a smirk, cruel and unloving.

“Isn’t it obvious by now?” he asks, stepping closer, putting his hand on my rounded belly. His smirk turns to a wondrous smile as one of my innocent babies kicks against his touch.

“I want every single thing that you hold dear.”

Chapter Twenty-Four

AVERY

Thirty weeks.It’s been difficult to roll over in bed for weeks, now. I am roughly planet-sized. My balance is off. My hips feel strange and loose. This is what weakness feels like. I wish I had a suit of armor—something I could wear that would protect me from Nathan. I’m so much weaker than he is. Being so pregnant makes me feel so damn vulnerable, so exposed.

He could kill me so easily, now.

And that’s when the cold sets in.

Cold rage. A thirst for vengeance. That morning, when I struggle to turn over and put my feet on the floor, I don’t feel any anxiety at all. I can’t remember the last time I had a panic attack. Can’t remember the last time my lungs betrayed me. I might be weak, but my babies will be completely defenseless when they’re born. I can’t let them come into a world where Nathan controls everything. I want revenge. I need it. I’ve kept the secret of the twins’ true father from him and I will keep this secret, too—that he’ll die at my hand.

I take a shower and I get dressed and I go to the office, and I finally let myself think about killing Nathan. Not just in astay alive for the babiesway but in ado something nice for yourselfway. I take notice of the kitchen tools in the break room at Capulet Tower. I linger outside the kitchen when the chef is cooking and watch for vulnerabilities in her process. I should be feeling warm, motherly. I should be nesting, but instead, every day, I grow colder.

The only thing I want is to see Rome. Nathan will show me video of him if I beg, but I’m not fond of begging, so I only get it once in a while. Every video is the same. Rome, spaced out in a cell. Rome, tied to the wall. Rome, his head leaned back on the wall, lips moving but making no sound.

He’s alive, and he’s waiting for me, and I haven’t touched his skin or breathed in his scent or kissed his soft lips for six goddamn months. Life is already short, and Nathan has stolen so much of it from me. I don’t want to give him any more.

My anger replaces any lingering nausea and somehow drives it out of me. My anger seeps into my bones. My anger becomes me.

What did Oppenheimer say?I am become Death.

I, Avery Capulet, am become life and death, all at once.

Thirty-three weeks. Dr. Hollis smiles at me with kind eyes and tells me that I’m almost full-term. With twins, I might be as far along as I get.Especially since I’m really thirty-five weeks.The babies could come any day now, and they probably will. It’s rare for twins to go full-term, and they’re probably anxious for space. It’s a good time to put the finishing touches on the nursery and practice my breathing exercises. Everything looks good.

I finish the nursery and fold a swaddle blanket over the side of the crib. Everything looks good. I finally steal a small knife from the chef while she’s not looking, before she packs up all her sharp things for the night and takes them home with her. Everything looks good. The babies kick, jostling for space, pushing hands and feet against the inside of my belly. Demanding more room. Taking space from my lungs and my stomach.

Your Daddy is going to love you so much,I whisper to them when I know we’re alone.

They’re going to be fighters. Everything looks good.

Chapter Twenty-Five

AVERY

---