Page 22 of Killer (Project)

“I need some kind of idea of how Killer is doing with his memories. I know he hasn’t had any real outbursts or anything lately, but that doesn’t mean something fucked up isn’t going on inside his head.” Gauge wanted reassurance as if I could offer it to him. I couldn’t. There was no telling when Killer would snap next or who his next target was.

“Here’s an idea—it’s not working.” I slammed my fist onto the table. “He doesn’t care to talk about the past. He doesn’t talk about the memories even though I’m in most of them. He doesn’t even realize it’s me who he’s talking to. He’s not getting any closer to remembering. If anything, he’s getting closer to blowing up again.” I heaved in a big breath. “And I think he hates this place.” It was the truth. He looked at everything, including this place as if it were a piece of shit.

Gauge paced the room for a short time as he scratched at his beard. Once I was sure he had walked a hole in the floor, he stopped and looked me straight in the eyes. He watched me the same way Killer did… except his stare was less calculating, less ‘I want to snap your neck in twenty different ways.’

In a way, it was heartwarming, just because I was so used to being looked at as prey. This made me laugh a little bit. Diesel had never looked at me like Killer did. It was as if they were two different extensions of the same person.

“What if you leave this place?” I almost jumped for joy. Gauge must’ve seen my excitement because he rephrased what he said. “With Killer that is. Leave this place and go to the park or dinner. Do something normal that gives him a chance to open up his mind.” He was set in stone about his idea while I was hesitant, to say the least.

“I have been missing for almost five weeks, Gauge. People are looking for me. I mean, at the very least, my best friend is. We shouldn’t leave, as tempting as it is to me. If someone sees us—him or me, then it’s over.” I was sure of it, and the last thing I wanted was to be caught and smuggled to some island with an angry Killer. Diesel... yes. Killer, meh... I was on the fence with him.

Gauge eyed me before leaning over the small wooden table. My pulse jumped as he smelled the air around me.

“Are you aroused?” he questioned me. Did this fucker trip and hit his head somewhere? Me, aroused? By him? Yeah, I don’t think so.

“No, I’m not, and I would greatly appreciate it if you would stop…” I paused, unsure of what it was that he was doing exactly.

“Sensing you. Reading you. You think we don’t know shit about you. You think we don’t have dirt on you to keep you here? If that’s what you think, then run. We’ll find you, and we’ll drag you back here. You’re Killer’s emotional trigger. You can bring him back from the abyss. You knew him when he was human, and you’re the only one who can help us. As far as people looking for you… guess you better stay out of their sight then.” I wanted to laugh in his face. After five weeks of being here, my sense of humor had to be off. I couldn’t tell what was funny and what wasn’t.

“Do you hear yourself? You want me to help you, but yet you talk and treat me like this? What is it you have on me? What are you going to tell Killer to make him hate me more than he already does?” A dull ache formed in my chest at those very words. Oh, how I loathed them.

“You will do it because if you don’t, we will tell him who it is you work for. I will tell every single person in this building, and they will rip you to shreds. You’re the only revenge within grabbing distance. Could you handle your skin being ripped from your bones? Your screams echoing in your mind as they inflicted unimaginable pain on you?” The venom behind his words stung. I had never looked at myself as the enemy. I had never thought of what they could do. What they would do if they knew who I worked for.

“Why do you want him to remember so badly? How does it benefit you? Better yet, how do I know you won’t kill me once he does remember?” I narrowed my eyes in questioning. His mouth snapped shut, his eyes growing angry. I had been here long enough without answers. They wanted me to do this and do that but refused to let me know the truth behind their desires.

“We want him sane. We want to be able to let him leave this place and know that he won’t leave a slew of bodies in his wake. He kills people, Maggie. That’s how he deals with the memories—and the pain. Remember that if you decide to cross him, or even me, all it takes is one word, one single word, and I will exploit you to the entire building, fucking up your very existence. Then we won’t have to worry about what will happen to you when this is all over and done with because it will be taken care of.”

He smiled a sickening smile, one that had my breakfast churning in my stomach. If Killer discovered who I was before I could get to PGI Corp, then there would be no point in trying to leave He loved the Maggie he knew just like I loved the Diesel I once knew. We both were two very different people now.

“I’m going to get the paperwork issued and let the guards know you’re allowed to leave of your own free will—with Killer in tow at all times, though,” Gauge warned me, shoving from the table and exiting the room.

I stayed seated not wanting to move from my chair. I needed to let what he had said sink in. Eventually, I found my bearings and headed for the door. I needed to go to Diesel and let him know there was a change in plans. I had just stood up when the door whipped open, almost coming off its hinges. Wood smacked against the brick wall as it cracked down the middle. My heart was beating against my chest as two black booted feet came into my line of sight. My eyes inched their way up his body, over the black cargo pants to his firm stomach, and over his well-defined chest covered in a black fitted t-shirt. His muscles bulged against the fabric as he crossed his arms in front of me, blocking my exit from the room. I was scared... but at the same time, I could taste the danger on my tongue as it swirled in the air.

My eyes landed on his almost black ones. He narrowed his eyes at me, walking into the room and into my space.

“You think I don’t know what you’re up to?” His voice was gruff.

“I’m up to nothing. I just want to know what was so urgent you had to break down the fucking door.” My eyebrows shot up as I peered at the door. He took another step forward, and I watched the knuckles of his hands grow white. I could feel the energy of whatever it was that was making him angry around me. It rolled off him in waves, each one threatening to knock me down.

“I know something is going on…” He leaned into me, his nose almost touching mine. It was times like these when I lost the image of who Diesel truly was. His hand rose as he pressed a finger into the side of his head. “I can feel it in here. I can feel the crumbling of my mind. I can feel the memories resurfacing, and I think—” His voice cut off as he looked at me as if he were astounded by what he was about to say.

“I think I know you…” He narrowed his eyes taking in a deep breath of air. My chest constricted, sweat formed on my hands, and my stomach dropped. He couldn’t know. He couldn’t find out. Gauge had told me he would need the antidote to remember me or anything else from his past. The therapy was just a fluke to see if the memories would actually trigger him to come back to the present.

“I’m right, aren’t I?” He didn’t question me, it was more so a question to himself. I couldn’t answer him. My throat felt dry, and the longer I stood there, the deeper I felt myself falling. A hole was growing around me, and I was on the verge of falling into it head first.

“Tell me,” he growled. His hands moved so fast I hardly realized it until I felt them gripping me by the arms. His fingernails bit into my flesh… and as I looked at him… the color of his eyes, the small scar on the top of his head, the curve of his lips, and the darkness that shadowed his face… it made me realize reminding him of the past wouldn’t do any good. Even if he remembered, it wouldn’t make him the person I used to know. The person I had once loved. PGI Corp had taken that from me—from him.

My mind reeled for an answer, an excuse... anything. I could feel his grip growing tighter and tighter. The blood flow to my arms was gone as numbness took over my limbs. I needed to say something. The feral look in his eyes said if I didn’t, I would very well be dead.

“I—” My voice stopped. What was I to tell him? I couldn’t possibly tell him who I was. It was too early.

“Don’t even think of lying to me because if you do, I will know. Then, when I find out that you did, I won’t think to ask you what it was you lied about. I’ll just make you bleed and make you hurt in the worst imaginable ways until your heart is no longer beating.” There was nothing in the words he said to tell me he wasn’t being honest.

I could feel my heart rate pick up, my mind scrambling for an answer. “You don’t know me. You assume you do. It’s obvious you’re confused between your current memories and your past. I never met you before in my life.” I lied through my teeth, trying to show honesty in my eyes. If I shook even the slightest bit, if my eyes drifted away from his for a second, he would know it was a lie. In fact, I could bet anything that he expected me to lie.

“If you’re lying to me…” He grit his teeth together, and I could hear the grinding of his molars. “I will fucking end you. Do you understand?”

I nodded my head, unable to say another word. I was too afraid I would confess the truth and my life would end in that instance. Looking at Killer, I desperately wanted to see Diesel. I wanted him to appear before me like the person he was before all of this.

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