Page 76 of All I Desire

“The one who was awful to you.”

I nod, meeting his gaze. “It goes beyond that, though. I never really told you the full story.”

Matthew swallows a few times, like he’s about to vomit.

“And awful? That doesn’t even begin to describe what he did to me. I was so paranoid about horrible men that I studied martial arts for years.” I let out a cynical laugh. “Did you know that? That I’m a black belt in kendo and karate? I guess I never told you. Sorry. I learned it all so that I’d never be in a vulnerable position again. But here we are.”

Matthew’s face crumples. He presses his hand to his eyes and pinches the bridge of his nose.

I’m suddenly self-conscious, as if this was all my fault. I turn toward the door. Matthew’s going to side with his family. Of course, he is. Why would he even believe me on this?

“No.” He touches my elbow. Not in a threatening way, just his fingertips. There’s a gentle pause that makes me shudder with emotion and sadness. Just when I’d found someone perfect, my past comes raging back to screw up my life.

Again.

I turn to look at him, tears welling in my eyes. “You probably would like me to leave. So, I’ll go. It’s better this way.”

“If you want to leave, I’ll understand and respect that. But do I want you to leave? No, I don’t.”

My breath’s coming in hiccups now. “I should’ve asked, when you said your mother lived here before. Should’ve asked more about your family.”

“Oh, babe, no.” He opens his arms and I fall into them. “No. How would you have known? If anything, I should’ve asked.”

He holds me for several long minutes, then I break away to grab a tissue. “How close are you two?”

“Not at all close. I told you, my mother left when I was young, and Hailey and I stayed with our father. My mom started a new family with my stepdad. Chad was their only son, and I didn’t even meet him until he was five. And only saw him sporadically. I didn’t know he went to school here, ever. He bounced around and went to a few different schools because he was such a little shit. I didn’t realize he was an abusive shit, too.” Matthew shoves his hair back with one hand, then the other.

“So, you believe me?”

Matthew cups my face gently. “Of course, I believe you.”

The way his tone is laced with pain and compassion makes the tears leak out of my eyes all over again.

“Dammit,” I whisper. “I didn’t want to cry.”

“It’s okay to cry.”

I sip in a few more breaths, then turn to the sink. The faucet is ornate and gold toned, and I grimace. “This house creeps me out.”

“Same.”

The cool water feels soothing on my face, and Matthew hands me a towel from a rack.

As I’m patting my skin—so much for the cute lip gloss—he clears his throat.

“How ‘bout I bring you home? I’ll tell my mother that you weren’t feeling well.”

I set the towel on the counter. Chloe’s eager, little face flashes in my brain.

“No. I’m going to stay. I’m going to be an adult about this.”

* * *

After I dry my tears,take a few breaths, and give Matthew another long hug, we emerge into an empty wing of the ridiculous mansion.

“They must be by the pool,” he says.

“Pool it is then.” I try to keep my voice cheerful. Hearty. Brave.

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