Page 65 of All I Desire

“I dunno. He’s got a kid.”

“Yeah? So? She seems awesome. A little prickly, but what do you expect? Her parents are divorced and she just moved. I think she’s hilarious.”

“You never wanted to be a mother.”

I snort. “Dude. I’m not going to be her mother. She’s got a mom, one who will see her every other weekend at least.”

Remy shakes his head and pops open a beer. “I can’t see it working. He’s got a whole shit ton of responsibilities. You’re like…” His voice trails off and he waves his beer in the air.

With a menacing look, I advance on him. “I’m like what?”

“You’re… you. You have your job and your condo and your cat and your jewelry. And, well, shit, Nat. You’re independent. That guy’s in a whole other stage of life. You’re like his manic pixie dream girl or some shit. To him, I’m sure you’re a breath of fresh air.”

I turn from my brother, tears stinging the backs of my eyes. How cruel. But honestly, he may be onto something. I’m so…untethered compared to Matthew.

“Dear, if you make each other happy, I’m sure you’ll work it out,” Ma chimes in. “But you do need to take it slow. A man with a built-in family is a lot to handle. Are you sure you’re ready for that?”

I shrug and clear a handful of soggy, blue napkins off a table. Is Remy right? And why is Ma trying to talk me out of dating Matthew? They’re both making me feel like I’m not mature enough, or something, to have an adult relationship. My mind goes to my lunch with Max the other week, when he also expressed doubts about my budding relationship with Matthew.

When did my family start thinking I was inept at relationships?

I glance up at Kate, who’s organizing her face painting kit. Ah, hell. I might as well try to talk to her now. I can’t feel any worse, not after what Remy just said.

I approach as if I’m about to soothe an injured animal. The rest of my family, bless their emotional intelligence, hustles into the back, loudly talking about cleaning the mermaid dressing room.

“Hey,” I say softly.

She licks her lips and her eyes flit to me.

“Hey. I’m so sorry. I was so wrong to tell Matthew about you.”

She nods.

“I feel like a shit.”

She nods again.

“I don’t expect you to forgive me, but I want you to know that I’m going to call my brother this afternoon and talk to him about coming back. He will. You’ll see.”

“Nat,” she says in a hard voice. “Have you ever thought that maybe you can’t bend people to your will? That you can’t just flit and fly into a situation and make it all okay with your superior organizational skills?”

My eyes widen. “I didn’t think I was flitting into this situation. You’re family. I want to help.”

“Did anyone ask you to help?”

My face stings, as if she’s just slapped me. “Look, I’m so sorry,” I say, my voice barely a whisper.

I turn and tie the garbage bag, then grab my purse and practically run out the front door. I figure I’ll just throw the garbage in the dumpster, then sit in my car for a few minutes to gather my emotions.

But once I’m in the silence and safety of my car, I pull out of the parking lot and keep on going until I reach home.

* * *

Although Kate’sassessment of me still smarts, I Skype my brother Damien anyway.

He answers with a grin. At least someone in my family still likes me.

“Hey sis. How did the party go today? Kate emailed a photo but hasn’t called yet.”

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