Page 39 of All I Desire

“I wanted someplace smaller than Fort Lauderdale. Somewhere with lots of tourists. My mom lived here with my stepfather for a spell some years back, and I always liked it the few times I visited when I was younger. I’ve also brought Chloe here over the years for vacation. It just seems like my speed.”

There. That’s all she needs to know about my fucked-up family.

“I love it here. Max, the brother you just met, he left for a while. But he’s back now for good, I think. And my youngest brother, Damien, he went into the Marines. He’s in Syria now as a military contractor. But my brothers Tate and Remy have never left. I haven’t either. Well,” she hesitates, “I did go away for college, but I missed it something fierce. I think it’s the most beautiful place on the planet.”

There’s a pause, and we stare into each other’s eyes. God, she’s so gorgeous in her business dress with her hair all swept back. She almost looks like a different person than the last two times I saw her. Not prettier, not better, just different. All three times, she’s been pretty damned sexy.

“So, about that mermaid idea,” I say.

“Yeah.” She tucks a stray strand of hair behind her ear. “Leilani’s been wanting to do birthday parties for kids. I was thinking that maybe we could do a test party for your daughter. Kind of a welcome to Paradise Beach party. Do you think she’d like that? Is she an introvert? An extrovert? What if we found other girls her age to invite? I know Leilani has plans for face painting, games, non-alcoholic, ocean-themed drinks. Stuff like that.”

I tear open the straw wrapper. “Hmm. That’s a good question. I feel like she’s an extrovert who’s been forced into being an introvert because of her situation at school. She does love mermaids, though. And quirky things, so she’d probably love a mermaid party.”

Natalia straightens her spine. “It would be great if we could give her a proper welcome here during her first week or so. I mean, if you want. I don’t want to bust in on your plans. Just because we’re…” she points at me, then at her, “doing this thing we’re doing. I’m not trying to take over and be her mom or anything.”

She bites her lip, and just when I’m about to respond, she rolls her eyes. “Jesus. Sorry. I’m overstepping, aren’t I? I don’t know what I’m doing here. I’m not mom material and have never dated anyone with a kid. And we barely know each other. I’ve got so many questions like…”

Then she claps her hand over her mouth.

I’m laughing at this point. “Cutie, I’m not laughing at you. But why are you so worried? I think it’s sweet for you to even offer. What are your questions?”

“Lord. I just implied that we’re dating and we’ve only seen each other like three times. I’m a bit of a mess, no?”

“All pretty wonderful and intense times, I’d say. Not a mess at all. You can ask me anything.”

She licks her lips. “Why did you get divorced?” Then she laughs. “I’m sorry. You don’t have to answer that.”

Funny, when other women on dates asked me that, I always felt too weary to explain and would do so halfheartedly. Today, though, I’m eager to. Probably because I knew it would come up sooner or later, and I’m glad it’s sooner.

“We met in college. And married pretty young. We had Chloe when we were already having some troubles, and we thought we could fix it with a baby. Not proud of that.” I pause and watch her blink those long lashes of hers several times. “We tried to make our relationship better after Chloe was born, for several years. But I was flying a lot, we had different schedules, and we grew apart. We were more like roommates. And then she fell for someone at work.”

Natalia’s bottom lip quivers. “I’m sorry.”

“I’m not. It was for the best, strange as that is to say. I’d checked out, she was phoning it in. It was a good divorce. A mature one. It forced me to dial back on my career so I could spend more time with Chloe. Which is what led me to the buyout and the career change and Paradise Beach. And Yvette found someone else she’s passionate about.”

“I see. I guess I don’t know many divorced people, or people who get along with their exes. So, it was fate?”

“Yeah. Kind of. Like what we talked about that first day. You asked me if I believe in fate. I do.”

She nods slowly, like she’s taking it all in. “Yeah. I understand your answer now. But I don’t want you to get the wrong impression. I’m not trying to insert myself into your life. It’s just me and my insane curiosity.”

“Really, you can ask me anything about my life.” I grin.

“And… I’m a planner. An organizer. I bring people together. That’s also why when you said your daughter had been bullied…” She takes a long sip of her tea through a straw.

“That what?” I might be mistaken, but Natalia’s beautiful, blue eyes look a bit glossy and wet. Did I say something wrong about my divorce?

“I hate bullies.” Her voice is flinty. “I was bullied in middle school, and in high school, had a, uh, pretty complicated relationship with a guy who used and bullied me. It was more like we were dating and he emotionally abused me. But it started with bullying. So, I’m sensitive to anyone who’s going through it. That’s all.”

“I’m sorry,” I say softly, reaching for her hand. She holds her palm facing me, and I press mine against hers. The flash of vulnerability in her eyes makes my stomach tighten uncomfortably. It’s pretty clear that she’s feisty and strong enough to stand up to anyone now, though. I love that about her.

She nods. “I am too. It took me years to get over. And I wish someone had told me my younger self that what was happening to me wasn’t okay. Back then, there wasn’t the same awareness. So, whatever I can do to help your daughter, I’m here. Just ask, okay? Even if nothing comes of us, you can always talk to me about my experiences so she can grow up healthy. Deal?”

An unexpected lump forms in my throat as I think of my daughter sobbing herself to sleep. As I think of how strong Natalia is now.

“Deal,” I agree.

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