Page 57 of All I Desire

She licks her lips and comes around, then slides onto a seat next to me. Her shoulders slump.

“It’s Damien.”

My chest seizes up. “What about Damien?” I ask, my voice tight and high. I sip in a breath and hold it. Any news about my brother in Syria can’t be good, because the only possible positive outcome is that he gets his ass back home in one piece. And since I don’t see him sitting here, and he’s not supposed to be home for another few months…

“They’ve asked him to stay in Syria for a few more months. Some classified mission.”

I blink. “They, as in the company he works for?” In exchange for doing dangerous, top-secret clearance work, he’s given an astronomical paycheck for being a military contractor.

“Yeah.” It dawns on me that her tear-stained eyes and inability to deal with a routine Saturday night aren’t from sadness but anger. Oh, shit.

“What did he say?” I chew on my bottom lip.

“He said he’s thinking about it. I’m trying to get him to say no. Goddammit, Nat. Why can’t he just come home? He’s so close. He’s only got what, four and a half months left? I’d psychologically gotten past the halfway mark, was still on a high from visiting him in Rome during his leave week and… goddammit.”

She covers her face with her hands. I slide off my seat and wrap my arms around her. I begin doing mental calculations of the time change between here and Syria, thinking about how I should call my little brother and read him the riot act. Dumbass, making Kate this upset.

“It’s okay. It’s okay. I’m sure he’s not going to say yes.”

“He might,” she sniffles, pulling back from my embrace. “He thinks the extra money will be good for us. That’s what he says. And it is good money. An entire year’s salary in four months. He’s probably right. I hate that he’s right.”

I roll my eyes. “He doesn’t need the money that badly. Jesus. Our parents can help him, you two, any time, if you guys need.”

“You know him. He wants to be self-sufficient.”

“Fucking male ego.”

This makes her laugh. A tear spills loose from one eye. “I want him home.”

“We all do, Kate. Maybe he’ll take some time to think about it, realize it’s a bad idea, and say no.” Although, I know my brother, and he tends to err on the side of practical.

“I wish I hadn’t told him…” Her voice trails off and she bursts into tears. A few of the bar patrons glance at her strangely, but in the annals of Saturday nights at the Lime and Salt Tiki Hut, a crying bartender doesn’t even make the top five list of strangest events.

“What? Told him what?” My voice is probably a little too loud and a touch too sharp.

She slips off her chair and tugs on my arm, pulling me into the hallway next to the bar. She scoops her hair into her hands and winds it into a bun. Then she takes a breath. There’s a pause, and the hum of bar conversation is replaced by a tune on the jukebox, a Doobie Brothers song, since the patrons here are stuck in the seventies.

Kate scowls, her pretty face scrunching. “Nat, don’t tell anyone, okay?”

“Tell anyone what?”

“I’m pregnant.”

At least fifteen seconds pass before I realize that my mouth is hanging open. The song “Takin’ It to the Streets” blares ridiculously.

“You’re…”

“Pregnant. It happened when I went to Rome.”

I blink rapidly. Am I supposed to be happy for her? On the one hand, I’m ecstatic. I’ll be the cool aunt, finally. It’s what I’m meant to be. On the other hand…

My stupid brother is thinking about staying in Syria for four additional months. For the entirety of her pregnancy. I’m ready to call him right now and yell at him for an hour straight. And when Dad and Max hear about this… I blow out a breath.

“What the hell is he thinking?” I blurt. “Sorry. I mean, congratulations.”

She swallows hard and I fling my arms around her. “Oh, Kate. Congratulations. You’re going to be an amazing mom. And Damien, he’ll be a great dad.”

As soon as he gets his ass back to Paradise Beach.

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