Page 21 of All I Desire

“Who says you’re going to date? Maybe you’ll just hit it and quit it.” Mrs. Meyer shrugs.

I gape at her, wondering if that’s the lingo of senior citizens these days. Hit it and quit it.

Ma’s bracelets jangle as her hands flutter in the air. “That’s right, dear. You don’t have to cancel tonight just because you felt a connection with Mark. What if you see him Friday and the spark’s gone? No spark with Mark. Or what if he stands you up?”

I squint at Ma. “Mark? You mean Matt. Matthew.”

“Yes. Him. Don’t lose out on a possible good time with tonight’s man. But only if you want. You don’t need a man to complete you. You can be single your entire life and be happy. I’ve always told you that. You can also stay home with Mister Sinister tonight and watch a movie. And Chunky could join you.”

I open my eyes wide, then blink. “That’s an alluring image, me eating junk food at home, surrounded by my crotchety cat and a pudgy pug. It’s like a children’s book, one that warns kids how not to live life.”

Though I think I’m living life pretty well. I have friends, a beautiful beachfront condo, two great jobs… I have to admit, though, it would be nice to have some attention from a decent man. In my bed, especially.

“Go on the date tonight. Christ Almighty, stop bellyaching. Eat some oysters and fool around with Tinder Twinkie. Have fun with Mr. Beach Hunk on Friday. Enjoy being single. God knows I should have when I was young. Sex is a wonderful thing, and I think you need more of it, missy,” Mrs. Meyer says.

“Thanks for that advice,” I grumble.

I bury my head in my beads as the conversation turns to whether or not the island’s handsome mayor is into kinky sex. I should be taking notes for my friend and neighbor Sadie, who has a crush on the guy. But all I can think about is Matthew and his eyes that are the color of the silver beads in my hands.

Still, this group of wise women is probably right. I’m under no obligation to him, amazing kisses be damned. Who knows if he’ll show up, even. It’s not like we’ve made a commitment to each other.

Plus, Jordan seems like a nice person — maybe a little conservative and stodgy, but I like to give people the benefit of the doubt. Not everyone can project their best selves on Tinder.

The worst that can happen is I’ll eat oysters, get a little horny, and end up like I have the past few nights —alone, in my bed, with my vibrator, thinking of Matthew.

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