Page 21 of Your Body On My Mind

His fingers came to my lips and I automatically opened them for him. I tasted myself. First on the tip of my tongue, then further back and finally on the roof of my mouth as I closed my lips around his fingers and pressed against them from below. Instinctively. Not because anyone had ever dared to put their fingers in my mouth before. Not because I thought I would find some strange pleasure in tasting myself against his skin.

Something flashed in Kaden's eyes.

"So you see. You thought there was nothing but an angel in you. But angels don't suck my fingers in a way that makes me wonder what it would feel like if it was my cock instead. Such a good little whore."

My right arm twitched with the need to punch him in the face for this humiliation. But my brain just shut down. Because he wasn't saying it to be a serious insult to me.

"Yeah, right," he murmured. "I can simultaneously praise and degrade you,andsay it in a way that means I admire you."

Fuck. Together with the tone in which all this was directed at me… I suddenly felt the need to squeeze my legs together to control my desire.

This thought didn't seem to escape Kaden's attention either, for he barely shook his head. "Don't," he warned. "Otherwise I'll have to make sure you hold the position, and that would be a shame."

Images immediately flashed through my mind. Pictures I had seen on the internet. Of women tied to the bed. Or to a device on the wall. The result was always the same: they were forced to stay in that position. Helpless, at the mercy of someone else's will. Helpless– if you ignore that they had voluntarily put themselves in that position and actually enjoyed being in it.

But the thought frightened me. To be tied up by Kaden so he could do whatever he wanted… that was beyond my current confidence– and especially beyond my ability to deal with these new scenarios.

So I had no choice but to keep my legs slightly apart. Heat rose in my core and made me breathe faster.

"You're doing so well, Nika. I'm impressed," he said promptly as if he had understood my inner conflict. Kaden put his hand to my chin, ran his thumb over my skin, searched my gaze to make sure everything was still okay. That we were on the same page.

My body responded automatically, signaling that I was still comfortable. Safe.

"No sex, that was the deal, right?" he asked, and I nodded. "Do you still feel that way?"

I bit my lower lip. If we went one step further now, if we took the last step that separated us, if we got too close, it would mean we had thrown everything we had talked about to the wind. Just like that. Because our bodies had spoken the same language.

Kaden interpreted my hesitation as an uncertain no– and I was grateful for that. Especially since my opinion had changed so often during the time we'd been in his apartment that I couldn't keep up. I would need time to mentally process everything and come back to the here and now but after he declared the session to be over.

"No sex. No harder games. But I won't leave you like this. It wouldn't be fair." He didn't ask permission this time. He didn't need to, because I could have stopped him at any time. If I had wanted to.

Kaden stood without taking his hand off my chin, so I automatically had to follow him with my gaze. He stepped around me, only to crouch until my back rested against his chest. He put his arms around me, resting his hands on mine for a moment.

I frowned. Why did this feel so familiar? Why was everything we had done so far so much more intense than mere sex had ever been? Every nerve ending in my body was alive and active, constantly sending electric impulses through me.

"May I… may I ask a question?" I had asked the question before I could even think about the consequences of speaking without being asked.

It reassured me that there wasn't any tension or negative reaction on his part. Instead, his deep voice was right next to my ear. "Of course," he replied.

"Do you do this with your usual dates?"

"In some form, yes. But it's always individual. It depends on how they take it."

"So why doesn't it work with them?"

I heard him laugh softly. "That is… complicated. Most of them have experience playing this way. But it doesn't feel right. It loses its appeal pretty quickly when their reactions could just as easily be from porn, or when it's clear they're not in it for the long haul."

"Do you think I'm faking it?"

All of a sudden, Kaden's hand slipped between my legs and covered my sex in a warm embrace without touching me. Still, I felt the throbbing. The telltale tug. Instinctively, I sucked in air and held it.

"No," Kaden murmured directly into my ear. "You're not faking. You're not pretending just because you think I like it. I know it's hard for you. But you're doing it anyway. And part of you is enjoying it, while the other part is probably wondering how that's possible. But that's okay. I can dispel your doubts bit by bit."

He took his hand away from my sex and let it slide down the inside of my thighs and back up again, right past my folds and over my mons veneris to my hip bone, only to come back agonizingly slowly and continue exploring my skin, not even making contact with the place where I really wanted to feel his fingers.

What he did to me was torture. Kaden was playing with me. Making me want what only he could give me. He teased me with lust until the muscles in my legs tightened and every breath I took was strained.

Kaden teased me until I had no choice but to give free rein to the moans stuck in my throat all this time.

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