Page 12 of Your Body On My Mind

Other terms jumped out at me.Role-playing. Edging. Spanking. Kinks. Although it felt like just a few minutes of staring at the screen, it was actually several hours of flicking from one term to the next, finding more and more subjects I had absolutely no idea about and certainly wouldn't be reading up on in that plane.

I felt like I was being watched, like I had a red dot on my forehead that told everyone what I was looking up, so I didn't want to plunge full speed into a theoretical world about sex that was far off from what I had experienced so far.

Besides, a knot had formed in my stomach. Kaden had an idea about all these things. He had probably tried them himself. He was interested in taking control of his partners, making decisions for them and… doing other things that I didn't even want to think about because I didn't know what to make of the fact that my best friend didn't just have this one side that I knew and loved, but also a much darker side. I was aware, but hadn't the faintest idea about it.

And now he wanted to prove that I could find myself in these practices if only I got involved. Shit, wasn't he afraid of destroying our friendship? Or was it, after all this time, already more than friendship? Was that why he kissed me without thinking about it? Was he suddenly so open about all of his sexuality, not just chosen parts, and his attractive side because he knew he had to break out of the friend zone before anything else could happen?

Wonderful.

My brain was spinning with questions, even though a few hours ago I had refused to make another deal with him.

But it had always been like that, hadn't it?

I didn't want to marry Kaden. So there was another deal.

I didn't want to go to Hawaii, so he reminded me how much I hated living in Iowa.

I didn't want to be available to him, so he wanted to show me what that entailed.

I didn't want sex, so he promised it would only happen if I asked for.

Why did I feel like I was losing badly? I couldn't even do anything about it because my subconscious was standing on the sidelines cheering with pom-poms, happy that I was breaking out of my boring life for a brief adventure.

That was how Samuel had described it when I had said goodbye to him. Jane, of course, had been less than thrilled that I'd quit, and the regulars didn't seem too keen on having someone else serve them in the future, but in the end, no one had stopped me from leaving.

And since neither my father nor my sisters had called or even sent a quick note to wish me a happy birthday, I found it surprisingly easy to pack my things into a suitcase and get on a plane to Hawaii. I had made many decisions in my life, but this was probably the first one that was likely to lead to anything. However one wanted to interpret that now.

I took a deep breath before turning off the tablet and stepping out of my safe online world to quickly look around. In front of me was a bottle of water and a plate of covered food. Now that both had appeared, I felt somehow grateful. My grumbling stomach made sure I pounced on both and destroyed them within minutes.

Due to the time difference, we would probably land on O'ahu sometime late in the evening. I was afraid that by then food options would be minimal. And before I starved miserably to death…

Out of the corner of my eye I noticed Kaden looking at me with interest. I pointed to my mouth to show I would have liked to say something about his staring, but my full mouth prevented me from doing so.

"Isn't there enough food in Iowa?" he asked. His lips were only slightly parted, but it was clear he was struggling to hold back a grin. Making the dimple on his right cheek stand out.

I felt like a raccoon caught rummaging in the rubbish bin. Two seconds later I stopped thinking about that and shook my head.

"You're impossible. Just because I'm hungry doesn't mean…"

"That you didn't have someone to make sure you ate something proper every day? Your fridge had some interesting contents…"

I let out a snort of indignation. It might be that my fridge was more a testimony to the fact that I did no cooking at all, but I was still not a bad eater. Maybe a nutritionist would have laughed about that.

His statement was a reminder of who had been primarily responsible for my proper eating during our school days. I probably owed Kaden for the fact that I did not suffer from an eating disorder.

"Let me guess…"

He raised an eyebrow.

"You'll make sure that I'm not neglecting myself."

Kaden shrugged. "You won't have a choice if you join me for dinner."

"You don't cook for yourself anymore?"

He gestured to his laptop as if that would answer my question. "The resort doesn't run itself. And I can't expect Kaia to do everything."

"But you have employees, don't you?"

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