Page 55 of Inked Beasts

“I wanted you to know what’s out there so you weren’t taken by surprise, but now that you know, you should stop reading. No good can come of reading everything.”

Definitely nothing good can come from any of this.

“There are some positive comments,” she says. “Along the lines ofyou go, girl.Stuff like that. Everyone else is just jealous.”

I haven’t seen anything supportive, not that it would matter. I don’t want my private life out in the open for everyone’s judgment and amusement. It’s been bad enough dealing with my parents’ opinions; now the whole world wants to chime in.

And wasn’t I an idiot for thinking I could get involved with all three of these men and not be criticized for it?

Another post: “What trash!” I’m pretty sure the label is entirely directed at me, but all at once, it occurs to me how this kind of publicity could hurt Thorn, Gage, and Kai. A lot of men aren’t comfortable sharing a woman, and they may harshly judge men who do.

Their fan bases could turn on them, and Beasts Ink and this resort’s restaurant could also suffer as a result.

“Lexy?”

I realize I haven’t said anything for at least a minute, and I’m still scrolling. I close the app and try to draw in a deep breath. It’s very possible that I may vomit.

“Thanks for letting me know, Ava. I need to run. I’ll call you later.”

I don’t exactly run, but I do hurry out of my office and down the hall. The privacy of my room’s bathroom is my destination, but I don’t make it there.

“Alex. Can I have a quick word?” Clare’s coming in the opposite direction, and her tone doesn’t leave room for me to deny her request.

“Clare, hi. Sure.”

“Something’s been brought to my attention. We should probably discuss it in my office, but I’ll be brief.” After looking both ways to ensure the hallway is clear, she lowers her voice. “I was alerted to some pictures and videos that have been posted online.”

The queasy feeling in my stomach was bad enough, but now my skin is prickling and I feel lightheaded.

“I’ve seen just a few of them, and honestly, I don’t plan to look into it further. What you do in your private life is none of my business, but it can’t be a distraction from your work, or from the events you plan here. It’s best if your private life is just that—private.”

Her eyes are fixed on mine, waiting for agreement. When I offer her a nod, she gives a small one in return. “Very good. Thank you.” And then she continues on her way, leaving me feeling ice cold and too hot all at the same time.

I make it to my room, grateful for the refuge it offers, but also wishing I could run out of the front door of the resort and never look back.

* * *

I decide to take the rest of the afternoon off, and when I can’t settle my mind or find a way to plan myself out of the turmoil I’m feeling, I crawl into bed, curl into a ball, and listen to sad music until I eventually fall asleep.

When I wake up, it’s dark outside, and I’m disoriented. Unfortunately, it doesn’t take long for me to remember what had me in bed in the first place.

I get up and pour myself a glass of water and settle at the table with a notepad. I don’t know if I’m planning to make a pros and cons list, or plan action steps for my exit from this fantasy life, but all I end up doing is staring at the blank sheet of paper.

Even though being with Gage, Kai, and Thorn is my problem, they also feel like my solution.

I could use some of Kai’s irreverence, and I can imagine him telling me to “fuck everyone else’s opinions.” If only it were that easy.

Gage would offer tender comfort, and the desire to be in his arms right now is almost overwhelming.

But maybe what I need is to have some fun and take my mind off of things until I can think more clearly, and Thorn is the best at making me laugh until I forget all of my cares.

I need to figure things out on my own, though, and I need to get my emotions in order so that I can decide what to do in a logical way.

But my body and my heart ache for each of them, and when Gage sends a text, asking if I can come over, I don’t hesitate nearly as much as I should.

In fact, I hurry over to his place, eager for him to make me feel good, because I know he will.

But he’s not alone when I arrive.

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