Page 34 of Nanny for the Damaged Ex-SEAL

I side eye her playfully and run out before I get caught.

Now, I have nowhere to go, but the weather is perfect today and it's always nice to explore the city, so I take the bus downtown and start to roam. I go in and out of coffee shops. In and out of salons. Even get a massage I didn't know I needed. I see Connor’s face on every random man who walks by. I can smell him; I can still feel his body beneath my fingers. The ridges, the swells, the bulges. I can’t get how smooth his skin is out of my head. The way his dick claimed me. The way his hands sought my body. The way he took me with a kind of hunger I’ve never experienced before. He follows me everywhere I go. I wish I could bleach my memory. Rip my brain apart and wipe it clean. What makes it even worse is that no one can find out about this. They’ll all be disappointed in me. Amy will be furious, and Dad will lose it.

I try to drown out the thoughts by plunging myself into the busiest parts of the city, but nothing I do is working. When I check my phone for the time, it's only 11 a.m. I can't go home. I can't be alone with him in that house. So, I walk down the streets until something catches my attention. A flier posted on a brick building. A volunteer group. I stand, reading the words on the flier for a few minutes, contemplating if I should go in or not. I decide to go up the stairs just to kill time. No one will force me into anything, it won’t hurt to check it out.

I climb the dark staircase and pray silently that I don’t meet trouble where I'm going. When I get to the top, I see a door that’s wide open, so I go through it. I walk into a big, open space. There's a counter made of light brown wood in a corner of the room. There are chairs just beside it and there's a woman at the counter. There are about six women on the other side of the room, but they don't notice me. No one does. The woman behind the counter is busy writing. I approach her.

I clear my throat and she looks up.

"Hi, my name is Aria. I saw the flier downstairs for animal rescue volunteers, so I came in to ask about it.”

The woman has a kind, round face. "Oh yes, welcome! Yes, we’re looking for volunteers, and I'm glad you took the time to read our flier. Thank you for coming in. Please, have a seat and give me just one minute." She points to the chairs beside the counter.

Several hours later, after some signing of forms, getting to know about their goals and getting to know the other volunteers, I come out with my new membership to an animal rescue volunteer group.

Chapter 12

Connor

Aria'sbeenavoidingme.I can tell. Normally, she comes back home after dropping Ethan off at school. But I've noticed that on the days I'm home, she stays out. Which is quite exasperating. It's starting to make me think she's doing it on purpose, or maybe she's seeing someone. It's been happening for two weeks now and I'm tired of it. If she's seeing someone then why did she have sex with me? Maybe she met him after we had sex. It's starting to make me feel inadequate. Was the sex bad? Is that why she's avoiding me? Ugh, I've been wanting to talk to her about it, but what do I say?Hey, I just wanted to ask if the sex was bad. Hey, am I bad in bed?Gosh, I sound so lame. But what is it about her? Why can't I get her off my mind? What's happening to me?

I listen as the water runs in her bathroom. She’s showering. She dropped Ethan off earlier. She does that sometimes. Takes him to school before coming back to get ready for whatever escapade she's got going on. I hear the water turn off after a few minutes. Then complete silence. Something gets knocked over, then complete silence again. Then I hear her door open. I think of getting off the bed and going to block her so I can confront her, but I can already hear her footsteps on the stairs. She's on her way down. I wait for the sound of the front door, but I don't hear it.

Then I hear a sound from the kitchen. She's having breakfast. This is the perfect opportunity. I get off the bed, pull my robe off a chair, wrap it around me, run my fingers through my hair and walk out of my room. I don't see her immediately because the kitchen is somewhere beneath the stairs, but as I go lower down the stairs, she comes into view.

She stops eating when she sees me. I can tell she wasn't expecting me to come down. Then she picks up her spoon again and sips milk off of it.

I think of going back upstairs, but I'm already here, might as well spill it.

"Hi," I say, standing in one spot.

"Hi," she says in a low tone.

I close the distance between us. I'm tempted to hold her to see how she'll react but I restrain myself. I pull over a stool and sit beside her. She looks up and smiles at me faintly, then goes back to eating.

"You've been busy lately," I say, trying to get her to talk about what she's been up to without me having to ask, but she doesn't take the bait.

"Yeah," is all she says.

Fuck it. I'll just ask. "Are you avoiding me?" I blurt out.

"Ugh."

"I asked if you're avoiding me."

"Why would you ask that? We were never even really close. Like you said, I've been busy."

"Busy doing what?" I can't stand how nonchalant she is about it.

"Doing stuff. I didn’t think you cared about how I spent my time, you wouldn't want to know."

"Well, if I'm asking, doesn't that show that I want to know?"

"Why do you care?"

"Because I think you're avoiding me."

She snorts but I can feel the nervousness in her voice. "Why would I do that? We live in the same house. If I was avoiding you, I wouldn't stay in the house."

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