Page 30 of Nanny for the Damaged Ex-SEAL

"It's me, Daddy."

"I know, bud. I know it's you."

"He says he wants to come to your room. I'm doing some cleaning and I thought it'd be better for him to stay with you," she says while avoiding looking at my bare chest.

"I want to play with you, Daddy."

"You know you don't have to do the cleaning. We have someone who does that."

"Yes, we do, but I'm only cleaning up after myself," she says sharply.

I nod and pull Ethan in.

"I'll see you soon. Don't miss me!" he says to her, and she laughs.

When I shut the door, I stand, leaning against it. Why does she have to look so beautiful even without makeup? Why is my mind failing me? I'm known for having a strong barrier, an unbreakable barrier. Being a SEAL made it stronger, but it doesn’t work when it comes to Aria. I'm so fucked.

In the evening, I'm getting ready to go to Amy's for dinner. Amy and Charles invited all three of us. I'd have preferred to go with just Ethan, but Aria is literally their child. It makes no sense to invite me and leave her out. I spend more time than usual choosing what I’ll wear. Normally, I'd grab the first clean shirt I see and find pants to go with it, but today nothing seems to look quite right. I pull out a black shirt, then I put it down and pick up a brown checkered shirt that I fling on my bed.

It's crazy that I'm trying my best to look good while also fighting this attraction. I don't want to be attracted to her, but I also want to look nice enough that she finds me attractive. This is insane. Cassy was the last woman I was attracted to. After she died, it was like something died inside of me. I haven’t had the slightest interest in anyone since. I've had women come on to me, but I always swat them off like mosquitoes. I never see them as more than just a friend, be it a client I train at the gym or a neighbor or whatever. I’m never affected by any of them. Well, until now.

I settle for a plain brown t-shirt and black pants, and a jacket to stave off the chilly evening air. I stare into the mirror as I comb my hair. The bags under my eyes are long gone. I admit that Aria has made things easier. Ethan loves her. He doesn't stress me by stressing her. Things have been going smoothly. And I'd be lying if I said I don't want her to stick around a whole lot longer. I'll just have to find a way to work around these feelings I have stirring inside of me.

I step out of my room to the sound of laughter coming from downstairs. I stop at the top of the stairs and take a deep breath before going down. They're sitting on one couch; Ethan is on her lap and her hands are around his waist. They're so busy laughing that they barely notice my entrance. The sight brings back memories of Cassy; she held Ethan exactly like this. And there's a moment of it frozen in time in the form of a photo on my table in my room. It makes me sad, and angry…but also drawn to Aria.

I clear my throat and they turn.

"Ready?" I ask.

"Yes," Ethan says, and hops off Aria's lap.

Aria reaches for the remote and turns off the TV. When she gets up, I shut my eyes for a few seconds because she looks so good. A beautiful green dress wraps around her body and is held together by two strings that are knotted into a bow at her side. It has a V-neck that shows off her ample cleavage, her creamy skin glistening under the cool white light. I can feel my heartbeat speed up and I take three quick calming breaths as Ethan runs to me.

Fifteen minutes later, we’re standing on their front porch and Charles opens the door. "Amy's in the kitchen."

"Hi, Dad," Aria says and hugs him.

"Hi, Dad!” Ethan says with a smirk, mimicking Aria, and stretches his arms for a hug too. Instead, Charles lifts him off the floor and walks back in with Ethan giggling.

I step into the house at the same time as Aria and we bump into each other. I say sorry and step back. The little bump set fire to my body again, and I stand at the door, staring as she walks in. I collect myself before following behind.

"Daddy, we’re eating chicken and fries!" His pronunciation of chicken sounds more like shicken, and the fries sounds more like flies.

I smile and nod at him as he runs back to the kitchen. Aria isn't in the living room. She's gone into the kitchen, and I thank God silently.

"It's been a while," Charles says, dropping the remote in his lap.

"It has been. We've been busy."

"Ethan is taking to Aria quite well, I see.”

"He is," I reply, and wish I could take to her well too. I'm torn between wanting her in my house for Ethan's sake and wanting her out for my sake. For the sake of protecting what I had with Cassy.

Amy and Aria come out with plates in their hands and Ethan follows behind with a little covered tray and a huge smile on his face. Soon, the table is set and we’re seated around it, munching on our chicken and sipping our drinks.

I notice Charles isn't drinking wine. "No wine tonight?"

He shakes his head regretfully. "No, my doctor said I shouldn’t. My blood pressure is up."

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