"Oh."
"He's just so dang stubborn. He's been like this since we were kids. He does what he wants and there's no way you can change his mind."
So, he rejected me? I mean, I never talked to Amy about it after she told me to think about it. And I knew he wouldn't be on board with the idea, but hearing Amy say it out loud now makes me feel some type of way. I want to gloat. I want to tell him that his stubbornness led to this. But my love for Ethan doesn't let the feeling linger. I'm also to blame. I refused too. We’re both at fault.
"Now, the nanny's gone and he's left to do everything on his own again."
"She's gone? She left?" I question.
"Connor fired her. He did the right thing. If he kept her, who knows what she’d be negligent of next. Plus, Ethan never took to her. He cried all the time. It was always some type of scuffle between them.”
I nod as I take my seat at the table. "I'm thinking of going to see Ethan again, but I don't know if Connor would be okay with that."
"Why wouldn't he?" Dad asks. He's been kind of oblivious to what's been happening between Connor and me.
Amy cuts in. "Oh, don’t be silly. Connor might be difficult sometimes, but he won't stop you from seeing Ethan. You're family. Family puts differences aside in times like this."
At a quarter past 6 p.m. I'm out of the house and on my way to the hospital. When I get there, I'm hesitant. I'm alone today. Maybe Connor didn't react the last time because Dad and Amy were around. But I shove the thought aside as I push the door open. Ethan is awake this time, but Connor isn't in the room. I wisp out a breath of relief and walk in. Ethan's eyes brighten when he sees me. The small sound of his scratchy, weak little voice attempts to call my name but is muffled by the oxygen mask and barely audible. I rush to his side to hold his hand. I don't speak, and tears fall from my eyes. I want to ask him how he's doing. I want to ask him if he hurts. I want to ask him if he's comfortable, but I know he can't answer so I rub his little hand instead. Then the door opens, and Connor comes in. He halts when he sees me. He clearly wasn’t expecting anyone, least of all me.
I greet him. "Hi, Connor."
He nods and offers a low "Hi." Then he comes closer to take a look at Ethan.
I don't pull my hands away from Ethan's. And he doesn't say anything.
After a few minutes of awkward silence, I pat Ethan's hand. "I'll come visit you again soon, okay?"
He nods and I want to bend down and kiss him on the forehead, but I stop myself.
"Thank you for letting me see him," I say to Connor and leave.
"You two are like oil and water," Bria says and shakes her head, her honey blonde hair flipping from left to right.
“At least he let me see Ethan.”
“You see? I told you he’s not that bad.”
I glare at her.
“He’s not as bad as you say he is. If he was, he would have kicked you out of the hospital. And why are you two so hostile toward each other, anyway?"
"Something silly that happened years ago. Plus, I'm not the hostile one. He is. Don't blame me for his bad behavior."
"What silly thing?" she asks, but doesn't wait for an answer. She runs her fingers over my sofa. "You really should change this leopard skin cover. I don’t like it."
I get up and go to the kitchen area to pour myself a glass of water. "I like it. It's mine, not yours."
"It's not real leopard, is it? What’s up with you today, you’re extra bitchy."
I gulp the glass of water in one go, then belch. "Of course, it's not. I've told you this several times. I’m constipated."
"And why wouldn’t you be constipated? You’re holding all that hate for Connor inside your heart. Hate constipates.” She runs her finger over the sofa cover again. “Well, you could have changed it."
I address only her last sentence. "I can't change my sofa right now even if I wanted to. I'm a quarter to broke."
"You know, you accuse Connor of being stubborn, but you're stubborn, too. You never let anyone do anything for you. And if you'd accepted the nanny job then you wouldn't be a quarter to broke right now."
"Connor refused too, though. Amy told me. So, it's not all on me."