Page 103 of No Mistake

Dex stared at him in disbelief. Liam squeezed his shoulder. “Hey, if he’s still in surgery, he’s still fighting. Never out of the fight. Right?”

Dex didn’t respond; the grief on his face was plain for everyone to see.

“Come on, Dex,” Kelly added, taking his hand. “It’s Ryan. Liam’s right. Two hours in surgery means he’s hanging on.”

“How’s Sophie?” Liam asked.

“She’s fine,” Sam said. “Worried about Ryan. She’s sitting with Chloe while we wait.”

“Where are the rest of the teams?” Mira asked.

“In the waiting room,” Liam said.

“Coast Guard got anything yet?” Dex asked Sam.

“Not yet.” They were scanning for a body, hoping Perez had gone overboard.

“Why don’t we go wait with the rest of the guys,” Mira said. She headed down the corridor. Liam followed. Sam put a hand on Dex’s shoulder.

“Kelly, give us a minute, please.”

“Of course.” Kelly followed the others down the hall.

“This isn’t over. We’ll find him. You have my word.”

Dex nodded, then sank down on the nearby bench, head in his hands.

“You OK?” Sam asked. It was just the two of them now.

“This is on me.”

“Like hell it is.”

“I’m team leader. I’m supposed to have their backs. He’s my fucking number two, and I didn’t have his back.”

“Dex, we were all blind on this. Shit happens, and you can’t have everyone’s back. Ryan did what he was trained to do.”

“No.” Dex looked up at him. “There were more hostiles than we anticipated. We took way too long getting on the ship, getting to the cabin.”

“Bullshit. You did the best with the information we had.”

“It’s not fucking bullshit.” Dex stood so they were face to face. “I trusted Tracer to have eyes on Perez. And he didn’t. And you know what’s even worse. Ryan and I were off balance as one and two. We’ve never been that way, Sam. All the time we’ve been teamed together, never have we had that tension between us. I let that happen. Me. It was too personal for him. I should have stood him down on this, then he wouldn’t be laying on a surgeon’s table.”

His voice was raised, but Sam ignored it. Over the past few months, he’d gotten used to these outbursts from his Raven team leader. It was nothing personal. As team leader, the man carried a lot on his shoulders and sometimes you needed to vent. He would never do that with his team. Sam had seen for himself how calm Dex stayed, no matter how dire the situation he and the boys were in. Dex never let his team see him rattled. If he needed to vent, Sam was more than happy to be his sounding board, let him get it out of his system, and help him get past it.

“Dawson, you better snap out of this fucking martyr act. I might not have worked with you as long as Ryan has, but I watched your leadership for over a year before asking you to work for me. I made the call as much as you did on Tracer, and what choice did we have? We had no other leads. And in the end, Tracer came through. It was the right call. Yeah, this was personal for Ryan, but are you going to stand there and tell me it wasn't personal for all of you? Wasn’t it personal when you disobeyed orders to go and rescue Kelly?”

Sam watched Dex step back and scrub his hands over his face. He got like this because he cared. Because what they did always meant something. They were a family and when someone got hurt, it hit home. Hard.

“That’s not the point,” Dex muttered, though he sounded less angry.

“It’s exactly the point. Did Ryan do anything you wouldn't have done?”

Dex sighed. “No.”

“Then if it wasn't Ryan on that table, it could have been any of you. It’s who you guys are, and why you are my team.”

Dex stared at him. Sam understood he felt responsible. It was a team leader thing. Fuck, he’d been in his position.

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