Page 97 of No Regrets

He dropped a kiss on the top of her head.

“At first, I was worried, then yeah, I got angry. But that was me being a self-centered ass. Don’t regret anything, Kelly. You had to do what felt right for you and I understand that now.”

“When you found me, I didn’t even recognize you. I could no longer feel pain, feel anything. I was numb and I was ready to die just to escape it all. I wanted to die.” She sighed, and he waited for her to continue. “I dreamt of you. Thinking about you, us, that last trip in Cuba. That’s what got me through those days. Got me through the beatings, the cattle prods, the knives, him touching me while he jerked off.”

Dex winced; his jaw tightened, but he stayed silent and suppressed his rage, knowing she wasn't finished.

“I dreamt you would come for me. I wanted it. But as the days went on, I lost hope, and with the lack of food and water I lost the will to fight. After he raped me, my mind shut down. My way of coping, I guess. That’s when you found me. When I finally realized it was you, I was so damn relieved, I almost didn’t believe it. The trouble was, at Westside, it all came back to me. Every detail, everything that happened, came at me like it was happening all over again. Every single time I closed my eyes, I saw him on top of me, could feel him pounding into me.” She couldn’t stop the sob that escaped.

“Kelly, stop, you don’t have to.” He tightened his arms, but she continued.

“I know you wanted to be there, but I couldn’t face you. I was raped. The thought of being near any man was tough, but you, the man I love more than anything... I felt dirty, ashamed, broken. I didn’t want you to see me like that, I didn’t want you to feel obligated to be with me because of our history, or worse, because you pitied me. I wanted you to be happy, and there was no way that was going to be with me. I know it hurt you and it hurt me too. I thought I was doing the right thing.” She swiped her face angrily as hot tears rolled down her cheeks.

Goddamn, his heart was about to break. He gently moved her so he could look her in her eyes. When he spoke, his voice was thick with emotion.

“Please tell me you don’t still feel that way? What happened to you, just hearing you say it, fuck I want to rip his guts out. Yes, you’ve been through a hell I can’t even imagine, but hear me when I say you are still Kelly. The beautiful, sexy woman I fell in love with. I’m not here out of obligation or pity. I’m here because I want to be, because I love you, because I can’t imagine my life without you in it. And I will do everything in my power to make you feel beautiful, cherished, protected, safe and loved every goddamn day.”

She leaned toward him, resting her forehead on his.

“I love you, Dex. Always have, always will.”

He shifted his head, kissing her forehead. “I’m glad you told me how you felt.”

“Me too. I still sometimes feel like I’m damaged, not good enough for you. But I'm working on it, I promise.”

“I want you to be honest with me always. We'll be honest with each other. I might not always know what to say or do to help you, but if we’re honest and open with each other, we can get through anything.”

He smiled and tucked a stray piece of hair behind her ear. He desperately wanted to kiss her, but he wouldn’t, not tonight. It was a breakthrough just being this close, cuddling, touching. That was more than enough.

“Well, that was a hell of a first date huh?” He grinned.

She smiled. “At least it will be memorable.”

“I wish I could say it was the only first date I’ve had that ended in tears.”

“What? Who? Why?”

“Janine Campbell. I was thirteen.”

“I remember Janine. She followed you around like a lost puppy dog.”

Dex laughed. “Yeah, well I gave in. We went to the beach, had ice cream. Everything was going great until Rosy Baker saw us. You see, I had ice cream with Rosy the day before. Both girls got very upset.”

“Thirteen and already a player!” Kelly giggled.

“In my defense, I didn’t realize having ice cream with someone meant you were going steady as Rosy put it.”

“Are you kidding? You were one of the hottest boys in school. If you so much as looked at a girl twice, she’d take that as going steady. Having ice cream, hell, you were almost engaged.”

Dex laughed, happy the tension had lifted, and this gorgeous woman was smiling again.

“I had a wonderful night tonight, Kelly. So do you think I could get a second date?”

“Well as you asked so nicely, how could I refuse.”

Dex escorted her inside then left her after a soft peck on the cheek. They needed to find Lazir. He fully intended to keep his promise to Kelly that they would get that son of a bitch and the sooner they could do that, the better for everyone. What that bastard had done to his woman, yeah, his woman, could not go unpunished. He wanted the fucker’s head on a spear.

CHAPTER TWENTY

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