Page 33 of No Regrets

“Of course, we can go.” Sophie signalled for the bill. “And you haven’t ruined anything. I’m sort of glad you know; I didn’t like keeping this from you but under the circumstances...” Sophie trailed off.

“I get it. I’ve not wanted to talk about him or see him, but hell, I never expected him to be in trouble.”

They settled the bill and Sophie drove her home. After reassuring Sophie she was fine, Kelly went inside, head spinning. She thought about calling Claire but that wouldn’t help Dex. She wanted to help Dex. Whatever was going to happen between them didn’t matter, he didn’t deserve this.

She reached for her phone, about to call Ryan, then stopped. What could he do? The team might be under review too. The red star against her voicemail glared at her. She knew it was Dex’s message from last week that she hadn’t had the courage to listen to yet. Everyone else had texted. Ryan, the rest of the team. She hadn’t answered any of them and now she was feeling incredibly guilty at shutting them out. Before she could change her mind, she dialed into her voicemail.

Hey. Look I know you don't want to see anyone right now and I can only imagine what you’re feeling. But I’m here. I’ll always be here. I want to make sure you know that. There is nothing we cannot get through together. Babe, I love you. I’m not me without you. You have to let me in, babe, please. We can get through this. Everything will be OK. I really wish I could be saying this to you in person and I’m kicking myself for not barging into your hospital room and telling you this before. Whatever your future looks like, I will be right there with you.

Kelly stared at the phone, tears spilling onto the screen. The sound of his voice, so familiar, so tender, so filled with love. How could he still feel that way after everything Lazir had done to her? Her heart ached for him, ached for what they’d had. But love wasn’t enough. The thought of anyone touching her again nauseated her, terrified her.

Whatever your future looks like.

Her future scared the shit out of her. She had no idea what it looked like or if Dex could be any part of it. One day at a time. That’s what Claire kept reminding her of. Do what feels right today. What felt right today was trying to help Dex. Who knew where the two of them would end up, but that didn’t take away from the thirty-one years they had behind them and she was the reason he was in this shit. There had to be a way to help him.

What if she could speak before the board? Sophie said the team had been closer, that’s why Dex had disobeyed. What if she could make them see that the difference in time mattered, perhaps that would help. She could go there tomorrow, demand to speak in front of them. She sank down on to the sofa. Who was she kidding. Could she really do that? See Dex, face the board and answer questions? As much as she wanted too, there was a good chance she would freeze before she got there, no matter her good intentions. Her hands were shaking just thinking about it. There had to be another way. Her attention went to her laptop. She might not be able to speak the words, but she could write them.

CHAPTER SEVEN

Dex stood before the review board in his dress uniform, eyes forward. The only person on the four-member board he knew was his CO, Joe Johnson. He was grateful for being given the opportunity to be heard, well aware as a Lieutenant Commander this could have gone straight to a formal disciplinary review board or court-martial. It was Joe, going to bat for him, that had led to him being here today. It was humbling, considering it was Joe’s order he had disobeyed so blatantly.

Yesterday, Ryan, Tyler, and Sophie all answered questions from the board. It had been painful to hear Sophie speak about Kelly’s condition. He hadn’t realized the severity of her dehydration. That and the trauma was why she hadn’t recognized him. Withholding his emotion had been difficult. This was the woman he loved they were talking about. The woman who was still suffering and wouldn’t let him help.

Shortly after the board dismissed Sophie, Joe had been called to an emergency briefing and they’d adjourned until 0900 today.

“Lieutenant Commander Dawson,” the captain leading the review said. Dex straightened his shoulders a little further, giving the man his full attention. “We have heard from the witnesses, read the statements, and you have answered our questions honestly. Clearly you understand that your actions were a violation of the Uniform Code of Military Justice. Is there anything you would like to add before we move forward?”

“Yes, sir. I understand the decision to send in a black ops team had been made and that Commander Johnson was not in charge of that mission. After learning about the ambush, my team was the closest to Daram, two hours ahead of the black ops team. I decided to take action for two main reasons. Firstly, Lieutenant Kimber had been in captivity for four days. Secondly, we were, and still are, unaware of how Bravo team were lured to their death. While I sincerely hope it is not an internal problem, there was no way of confirming that. No one knew Alpha team were going in, eliminating the risk of another ambush. It was the safest option. Lieutenant Kimber is a teammate, and it was our duty to do everything we could to bring her home safely.”

Dex kept his eyes forward, remaining calm. They were two of the reasons why he had gone in. The third being Kelly, his girl, was the hostage, wasn’t one he could share.

“Commander, that was exactly why a blacks ops team had been activated. No one knew they were going in either.”

“With all due respect, sir. More people knew about them than Alpha.”

The board members glanced at each other, and he thought he saw some small smiles.

“Very well. Is there anything else you would like to say, Commander?”

“Yes, sir. I respect the Navy code of conduct and understand when I violate the code, I must be held accountable. This is not my first violation, but each time, in the moment, I truly believed it was the right course of action. We did our homework, we researched the mission and had pertinent intel that led us directly to where Lieutenant Kimber was being held. Getting her out of there as quickly as possible was a priority. My team, our pilot, the helo pilot, were all acting on my orders, and I take full responsibility for their actions.”

This time Dex looked at each board member individually, before returning his gaze forward. There was some whispering between them before the captain spoke again.

“We want to make you aware of two written statements we have received about you.”

Dex couldn’t hide his surprise. Who? Couldn’t be his Pops, too obvious.

“One, I cannot share the name of, as this person’s position is highly classified. However, I can tell you that he is the commander of the black ops team.”

OK, now Dex was really confused. He’d never met their commander and he barely spoke to the team. In fact, he had no fucking clue who they were.

“It seems on the helo ride; your team were quite chatty with his boys.”

Dex tried to remember what had been going on, but he had been too wrapped up in Kelly, not paying attention to what the boys were all talking about.

“The black ops team relayed that the operation you executed successfully, I might add, was the exact mission plan they had prepared themselves. Although they had a guaranteed helo ride out, obviously.”

Dex caught Joe smiling at the last sarcastic comment. This hearing was getting weird.

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