Page 168 of Unravelling The Beast

"What the hell are you doing?"

I just stare at her through teary lenses with the gun still in my mouth, and her huge, brown eyes start to well too.

She suddenly falls on her knees in front of me, reaches out her shaking hands, and places them on mine, holding the gun, as she begins to plead with me gently.

"Please, please, please don't do this!"

I observe as tears flood down her cheeks, the fear and despair in her eyes making me cry even more. We stare into each other's eyes for a while, but I don't move a muscle as she continues with a mournful whisper.

"Please, Arlo, don't do this."

She attempts to pull on my hands with hers, but I resist because I don't want her to stop me; I want her to leave this room so I can blow my fucking brains out and do us all a favour.

"You don't have to do this. I'm here for you, Arlo, just as you've been there for me."

I stare at her, puzzled and the ridiculous comment causes me to remove the gun from my mouth so I can tell her that's total bullshit.

"Bullshit. Leave me alone, Wren. You'd be a lot better off without me, believe me."

As I face away, she responds sternly.

"I'm not leaving, and if you're going to do this, you'll have to do it in front of me."

My cold eyes meet hers fast, and I yell at her to assert my authority.

"FUCKING LEAVE!"

She reacts with a frown.

"I'm not going anywhere."

I grab her throat unexpectedly, filled with fury because she won't leave, and yank her towards me, speaking with gritted teeth close to her face.

"I fucking killed her!Do you want to suffer the same fate? Do you want to be killed by me, exactly like my wife was?"

Her eyes search mine, confused but carefully absorbing my words.

"I don't know what you think you've done, Arlo, but I know you'd never kill me."

As I get overcome with emotion again, I screw my eyes shut and place my brow against hers, still keeping a firm grip on her throat while I let out a sobering whisper.

"I fucking killed her, Wren. I'm not sure how, but I fucking killed her."

She brings her shaky hands to my face, lifts my head, and whispers quietly as my tearful eyes meet hers.

"I'm not sure what you're talking about, baby, but you have Cree to think about, and you can't do this to yourself, Arlo; he needs you.You've come this far for him, and you need to keep going."

I shake my head slowly, tears streaming down my face.

"He would be better off without me; I do not deserve him. I shouldn't be the one to bring him up, and he'll never forgive me for what I've done. He's far too innocent and pure for my fucking shit."

She pauses for a second as I close my eyes again. She releases my face before continuing speaking.

"He's only pure because of you, Arlo. You've done an amazing job with him on your own. You still showed up for him despite your sadness, suffering, and sorrow, and he is who he is because of you. Don't do this to him, Arlo; it'll only tear him apart."

Before I speak, I open my eyes and look around her angelic, beautiful face.

"Why do you fucking stick around? Why would you stay with someone as messed up as me after what I've fucking done? Why are you here, Wren? You should just let me do this! It's exactly what I fucking deserve!"

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