Page 20 of Last Call at the Local

He gives me a skeptical look.

I do a slow spin in the office chair again. “Okay, somaybein that way a little.” I grab hold of the desk to stop myself and prop my chin in my hand. “She’s... pretty. Funny too.” My eyes are fixed on the schedule taped to the wall, but talking about Raine has me thinking about her mouth again. I glance at Ollie, who has a smug look on his face. “And look at me, I’m gorgeous. A few sparks are inevitable, but that’s not why I offered her the job.”

“Then why did you?”

“I had a good feeling about it.”

“If you want me on board, I’m gonna need more than that.”

I look away to gather my thoughts, and my attention snags on a corner of the desk. Jacqueline fell while she and Josie were running around in here the other day. What if she hit her head against the corner of this desk? She’s got all that hair; it could be easy to miss a lump on her head. What if she developed a brain bleed? I didn’t see her fall. She didn’t say anything about her head, just her knees. But what if—

“Jackie.”

I look up at Ollie. “How’s Tiny Jack? That kid’s got a ton of energy, doesn’t she? She hasn’t been taking longer naps, has she?”

“What the hell are you talking about?”

“Jacqueline. The little blond one with the Muppet hair. About yea high.” I gesture to what I guess to be her height. “Surprisingly cute for someone who got half her genes from you.”

“I know who my own daughter is, Jackie.”

“Well, that’s a relief.” I drum my fingers against the desk. “That kid has a great vocabulary for a two-year-old. Have you noticed? Some toddlers, you can hardly understand what they’re saying. It would be weird if she was suddenly slurring her speech, wouldn’t it? She hasn’t been acting weird, has she?”

“The only one acting weird around here is you.”

“Which is hardly anything new,” I say, relieved Ollie hasn’t noticed anything, but only a little. It would be easy for him to miss something. He’s not even home right now. Nina is, though. I pull my phone from my pocket and contemplate texting her. I’ll just tell her Jacqueline hit her head, even though I’m not sure she really did, and then Nina will go make sure she’s okay. I know I shouldn’t do that. Martina, the therapist I used to see, would tell me that I’m just getting others to perform my compulsions for me.

That’s a rather pessimistic way of looking at it, Martina. Some might call it good delegating.

“You’ll only make the thoughts worse.”

Fuck off, Martina, with your normal brain that only thinks normal thoughts.

And then I think,undo, undo, undo,undoand press my fingertips to the desk, because actually, I like Martina, and she is a great therapist, and I should have called her weeks ago when I started arguing with the intrusive thoughts again.

But things aren’tthat bad. They were far worse before. This is just a small slip-up in my recovery, one I can come back from. And besides, the thought of calling Martina, of telling her that I’ve fucked up the progress I made and am scared I’ll end up where I was three years ago... it’s too much.

I shove my phone back into my pocket without texting Nina.See, Martina? I’m fine, and I can feel you rolling your imaginary eyes from here.

“And youreallythink this girl can do what you need her to?” Ollie asks.

“So Raine’s never managed a project like this before! She’s got insight. Vision. She’s seen tons of pubs. She’s... creative. Creativity—that’s a transferable skill, you know.”

“And where’s she supposed to live? She doesn’t have any money. I know you think you’re a good judge of character, but I don’t recommend forking over anything in advance before we know more about what we’re dealing with here.”

More about what we’re dealing with here.I perk up at that. He’s actually considering it. “Oh, I’ve got that all taken care of.” I figured it out on my walk back from his and Nina’s place. “She can stay in the flat.”

“What flat?”

“The flat upstairs, of course.”

Ollie looks at me as if I’ve said I have an appointment for laser tattoo removal. “Jack...youlive in the flat. This whole situation is already questionable. You can’t have the girl move in with you.”

I shoot him a glare. “I know I seem crazy, but I’m not senseless. She can take the flat while she’s working here. I’ll stay with you and Nina.”

“Now don’t go putting words in my mouth. I’ve never called you crazy. Not once.”

We call each other names all the time, but he’s right. He’s never called me that. “All I’m saying is I know I do things that don’t always make sense to you. Hell, I do things that don’t make sense tome. But this isn’t one of them.”

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