"I wish I could change them, Tammi, just on this one thing."
Tammi looks at me as I say those words and nods.
"Trust me, so do I,” she says quietly. “I tried to have the same discussion with my man and he saw it like that too, through the lens of family. And he was stubborn as all hell and guess what? I had to watch him die in my arms. For what? An ill-conceived notion about loyalty? I wish he had been as loyal to me as he was to that damn club."
"I know Tammi, I'm so worried. I thought about how I might as well die if something happened to any of them. That's not healthy. And then I think about you and how you've endured. You've really been strong Tammi and I don't want to have to be that way. I don't want to have to be strong. I want to come to it a different way."
"I know babe. I know. That's why my greatest advice is that you come with me. Let this thing blow over and then see about men."
I would be lying if I said that I didn’t even consider what she was saying.
Just leave it all. Get away from all of this madness?
"Well, Tammi,” I sigh again. “I can’t.”
"Alright, well you know where to find me. I hope you're right and that things turn out fine."
"Okay Tammi, thanks,” I say, a tear rolling down my eye. “I'll be in touch."
She looks at me one last time – as if her look will convince me.
"I'll miss you Tammi," I say as I kiss her on her forehead and get up to leave. I better head back to Wade's soon now that I know Tammi's okay.
"Goodbye sweetheart, take care of yourself," she says as she sees me get up.
I leave and take a minute to just consider what she's said. She is alone now because of the exact mess I'm in. Am I willing to go through more grief in exchange for love? I decide I better get back before anyone notices I'm gone.
I’m going to begin my journey back to Wade's place. I wonder if Jason will have noticed that I left. I hope not because I don't want to endure his wrath. But, he would have to understand that I needed to check on Tammi. It's such a good thing she's leaving and I'm sure they will be happy to hear it too.
I feel that familiar rush of emotion at the thought of seeing Jason. I haven't even had a chance to reflect on the fact that he changed my life last night. It was so worth being with him. He was amazing and I will never forget the way he handled me with such furious passion and yet tender care too. My heart flutters at the thought of it happening again. I know that I should probably be leaving town like most people are likely doing, but the thought of leaving these guys to possibly die here is too great a burden. I need them and that need is what makes me stay.
I head outside. Before I get two feet past the door though a hand is over my mouth and someone has my legs.
Fuck. I know it's them. I don't even have to look.
It's The Iron Legion and they’ve found me.