Page 117 of Captive Bride

Blood rushes to my face and head, and I feel like I’m gonna pass out. I’ve never fainted in my goddamn, life but the thought of this being real makes me fucking lightheaded.

My princess...dead.

In one second, it all starts to make sense. The Capulets are here at her funeral.

“What the fuck is going on, Benny?” I ask him almost wildly.

“I don’t know, Tristan. Just calm down. We’ll figure it out.”

Benny’s pulling me away to the back room, and I’m fighting him the whole time.

I need to get to her. I need to hold her and cradle her and make her come back to life.

“Benny, let me go, man. I have to get out there. I have to get to her,” I say to him, feeling frantic as ever.

“Tristan, don’t do it. It would be suicide. They’ll kill all of us. Just hang back, and let’s figure out what’s happened.”

“What do you mean what happened? She’s fucking dead. This is all my fault.”

Just when I think I’m gonna to explode, Father Lawrence comes in.

I grab him by the collar and demand to know what happened.

His eyes look sympathetic as he says, “Tristan, I’m so sorry. She did it after you left. She said that being in the middle of these warring families and having you arrested was just too much. I think that she thought you’d be behind bars forever.”

I look at him, hoping this man can somehow deliver me good news.

“What are you talking about, priest? She didn’t commit suicide. Tell me she’s still breathing.”

He reluctantly hands me a note. I take it with trembling hands.

Dear Tristan,

If you’re reading this, that means you’re somehow safe. I just couldn’t do it anymore. My marriage to the Governor and the pressure from my family, well, it was all too much. And then having you arrested just put me over the edge.

I can’t live a single second without you. I chose to do this.

Love, Isobel.

I hold the note and read it over and over again.

Was I too late? She really committed suicide?

My mind is going wild. All I can think about is opening fire on the crowd out there. I’m just about to go do so, but Benny pulls me back.

“Tristan, be reasonable. If you go in there now, it’ll be suicide. But if you wait, then we can form a plan to get revenge. I promise you we’ll take them all out. But first, we have to be smart about it.”

His words don’t fall on deaf ears.

Yes, I feel like dying. If she’s dead, I want to be dead too.

But it’s funny because at a time like this, in the middle of my awful grief, I know his words ring true. It would be better to seek proper revenge on all of them, and then kill myself.

If I go in there now, shooting the place up, only a few Capulets will die before I’m taken out. But, if I form a plan, I can take out the whole fucking family before ending my life. They all deserve to die. And first on my list is the Governor.

“That’s a good idea, Benny. Let’s go to the penthouse.”

Inside, my heart is exploding. It’s all I can do to contain the tears that threaten to stream down my face. I’ve never had somebody die under my watch that I actually fucking cared about.

I’ve never been in love before, and I was with her—and now she’s fucking gone.

I don’t say any of this.

I’m stoic on the outside, unemotional. I’m a pillar of strength to the world.

Nobody can know what’s going on inside of me. No one can know that ultimately I plan on committing suicide with her. I know if I tell this to Benny or Merc, they would stop me.

No one can stop me now. I’ll have her family dead, and then, I’ll have death.

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