Page 40 of A Nine-Month Deal With Her Husband

He didn’t know if, as soon as he spoke Jacqui’s name, emotion would flood his system and his words would disappear. He didn’t know if he’d stammer the first few sentences and then dry up. He couldn’t risk freezing, embarrassing himself and spoiling the evening for everyone else. He wouldn’t do that to Millie, or to Jacqui’s memory. No, he was in the right place.

Ben noticed the hesitation in her usually fluid steps. Nerves had taken hold of her again and he couldn’t blame her, he felt as though his were also on fire. Honestly, he felt as though he was perching on the rim of the volcanic crater this stunning auditorium, Eldborg, was named after. The auditorium, built in concrete and covered with red-varnished birch veneer, reflected his red-hot inner core.

He had to calm down. If he didn’t, he would transfer his nerves to Millie, and she was jumpy enough as it was. Ben took a deep breath and looked across the orchestra to where rows of elegantly and expensively dressed patrons sat. The woman wore Dior and Givenchy, Armani and Chanel and the men wore custom-made tuxedos from Brioni, Tom Ford and Cesare Attollini.

Behind the podium, and on strategic places throughout the hall, were screens so that the guests in the cheap seats didn’t have to watch a tiny Millie speak. The screen would show images of Jacqui as Millie gave her moving tribute to her mum. There were words on the teleprompter and all she had to do was get through the next fifteen minutes.

Ben looked at his wife, his lover, thinking how stunning she looked. She looked like the heiress she was, elegant and sophisticated and lovely. But she was also kind and accepting and non-judgemental.

He’d thought he’d been so smart thinking he could control his emotions when it came to her. Another woman maybe, but not Millie. Had he grabbed on to the idea of linking his emotions to his stuttering as a way to rationalise keeping her around? Had his subconscious looked for a way to keep her by his side? Did it know, instinctively, that she was the one person, the only woman, he could imagine having a deep relationship with, even a measure of permanence, and he was searching for a way to keep her in his life?

Yeah...

His stammer now seemed relatively unimportant, keeping his feelings under control less so. He could even imagine giving her the baby she so desperately wanted. He might even be able to be a dad. He knew he wanted to try...

With Millie to guide him, he could do this. And if his kid stuttered—no he couldn’t go there, not yet. Not now...

But in the future, yes. Ben was starting to believe that, with Millie at his side, he could do anything. There was no way they were done...not yet. Not for the next sixty or so years.

He watched as Millie cleared her throat and touched the slender microphone. He mentally urged her to start talking—the longer she stood there, the more her nerves would take hold. He silently urged her to start the speech, his fists bunched at his sides.

Just don’t look at the screens, Mils, and don’t watch the photos.

But Millie, being Millie, did exactly that. He silently cursed when the first picture hit the screens. It was a favourite of his. It was a candid shot of Jacq and Millie, who was probably around ten, sitting on the beach, laughing uproariously. It was clear that they not only loved each other, but took enormous pleasure in each other’s company. It was a highly emotive and beautiful shot.

The picture on the screen flipped over to one of Jacq holding Millie, shortly after she was born, a red-faced baby with lots of hair. Jacqui, sweaty and make-up free, was laughing, triumph and love blazing from her eyes. It was another intensely emotional picture and one he knew would hit Millie hard. This picture had been taken just a few months after she was beaten up by her ex. If Millie started thinking about the past, her biological father, she’d collapse in a heap.

He watched, horrified, as she looked at the picture and despair jumped into her eyes. She lifted her fist to her mouth and Ben heard the collective intake of the audience. Everyone was on the edge of their seats, waiting to see what happened next. Millie dragged her eyes off the screen and her head whipped around, and Ben knew she was looking for him. Their eyes connected and held, and Ben saw the unspoken words on her face...

I can’t do this. Please help me.

If he had to, he would do that damn speech for her, he would stutter and stammer his way through it, but Jacqui would be honoured. Without giving himself time to think, Ben strode on to the stage, keeping his eyes locked on Millie’s face. He reached her, placed his hand on her back and bent to speak in her ear. ‘Can you do this? Or must I?’

Please let her say she could.

He held his breath as he waited for her answer. Then he felt her spine straighten. She tipped her head back to speak in his ear, so softly that the microphone couldn’t pick up her words. ‘I want to try, for her. Can you stand next to me and, if I fumble, can you pick it up from me?’

‘Always,’ Ben assured her and she had no way of knowing he’d do it in every way he could, for as long as she would let him.

Millie heard the thundering applause in her ears as she walked off the stage, Ben’s hand on her back. Her head buzzed with a million thoughts. She’d got through her speech without crying, she’d done her mum proud and the audience liked what she had to say. The hardest part of her evening was over. Well, until Ben left.

Dammit.

‘I’m so damn proud of you, Mils,’ he told her, ducking his head to kiss her mouth.

When he stood again, he had lipstick on his top lip and Millie lifted her thumb to wipe it away. The tears she’d been holding back threatened to spill and she blinked rapidly. ‘Thank you.’

‘I wish I didn’t have to leave tonight. All I want to do is take you home, strip all that gold material off you and spend the rest of the night making love to you,’ Ben softly stated, looking frustrated.

She held her breath and saw her feelings in his eyes. Maybe she wouldn’t have to say anything, maybe... ‘Ben, we really need to talk.’

He cupped the side of her face with his big hand and rested his forehead against hers. ‘I know, sweetheart. There’s much to say and we’d be having that conversation tonight if I didn’t have to rush off. I’d stay if I could.’

‘You made a commitment and you’ve already missed tonight’s celebrations,’ Millie told him. ‘I’m grateful to you for being here. I couldn’t have done that without you.’

‘Of course you could, you are amazing.’ Millie heard someone calling her name and she sighed as Ben dropped his hand and stepped away from her. He looked past her shoulder and grimaced.

‘There are hordes of people, including Bettina and some of the trustees, waiting to congratulate you.’

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