Page 37 of A Nine-Month Deal With Her Husband

‘She did,’ Ben agreed.

‘And I can see why she thought Magnús would be a good dad for me, he was handsome and educated, cool and controlled. He was everything my biological father wasn’t. When she married him, she couldn’t see into the future, she didn’t know he couldn’t love me. In fact, I don’t think she ever admitted to herself that Magnús didn’t love me. She always had an excuse for why he wasn’t affectionate or loving or interested.’ Millie folded the fabric of her dress into creases. ‘It was as though she was trying to convince herself as much as me.’

‘Stop fiddling with your gown,’ Ben gently told her.

She sighed and smoothed the fabric back into place. ‘I understand why she chose not to tell me—if I was faced with the same choice of protecting my little girl, maybe I would make the same decision. She kept the secret because she believed not knowing was best for me.’

‘I agree. You were her whole world, and she would’ve fought dragons for you.’

It was true, her mum loved her more than life itself and Millie could understand, possibly even forgive her actions. And since it was the only misstep Jacqs ever made as a mother—for all of her life she’d been the awesome mum most girls dreamed of—she could stand up on that stage in front of two thousand people, Europe’s princes and princesses, CEOs and celebrities, and talk about her mum. Well, theoretically.

In reality, she was terrified of messing up and making a hash of her mum’s tribute speech. Her stomach lurched up into her throat. She hadn’t done any public speaking, ever, and now she was going to talk in front of two thousand people the day she’d discovered who her real father was.

In the reflection on the window opposite, she saw her bone-white face. Yep, terrified. ‘I don’t know if I can do this, Ben.’

Ben’s smile was warm and reassuring. ‘Of course you can, Millie.’

‘Can’t you do it for me?’ she demanded. ‘I might freeze or stumble or mess it up.’

‘You’ll regret not doing this later, Millicent,’ Ben told her, moving towards her to drop a kiss on her temple. ‘Youmustdo this, for her.’

She really didn’t think she could and told Ben so.

‘You’ll have a teleprompter in front of you and two on each side of you. You just have to read the words on the screen, words you helped write, Millie. The speech is great and you’ve practised it many times.’

After her fifth rehearsal, Ben, who had something of a photographic memory, could correct her without referring to the printed page. It was most annoying.

‘You can imagine the audience naked if it helps, Mils,’ Ben told her, sitting back. He reached for the glass of champagne he’d poured earlier, an exceptional Taittinger, and forced it into her hand. ‘And drink this.’

She pushed the glass away. ‘I should keep my head clear.’

He pushed the glass into her hand. ‘One is fine, two or three would be a disaster.’

‘Is that what you do, Ben, when you do your presentations?’ she asked after the lovely liquid streamed down her throat. ‘Drink champagne and imagine your audience naked?’

Ben snorted. ‘The image of my colleagues naked is one I’d prefer not to have in my head.’

Millie laughed. ‘So how do you do your big speeches?’ she asked. ‘You’ve spoken to far bigger audiences than I will tonight.’

‘Mine are business speeches, Millie, very dry and boring. And longer,’ Ben said, throwing his champagne back. ‘Yours will be shorter and lovelier and you’ll be talking about someone you love.’

Millie nodded and blinked back her tears. She rested her head against the window and closed her eyes. Ben was flying out after the concert to St Barth’s for a friend’s stag weekend and she was booked on tomorrow’s afternoon flight back to London.

Theoretically, they were done, whatever they had was over. Neither of them mentioned their affair continuing after tonight and Millie didn’t know when, if, she’d ever see him again. How could anyone expect her to walk away from him? How could this justend? And why hadn’t they spoken about this? Had she hoped that by ignoring it, it wouldn’t happen?

‘I don’t want you to go,’ she told him. She kept her eyes closed. ‘I don’t want this to end.’

‘We said two weeks, Mils,’ he murmured.

She recalled every word they had exchanged, so she didn’t need him reminding her of their deal. ‘No strings, keep it simple, don’t complicate the issue,’ she muttered.

‘Millie, this isn’t the time to discuss this.’

She forced herself to look at him. ‘Will there ever beatime?’ she asked him, needing to know.

An emotion she didn’t recognise flickered in his eyes. ‘I think there should be. We have things to say to each other.’ Oh...oh. Thank goodness.

‘What if I fly into Heathrow on Christmas Eve?’

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