Page 34 of A Nine-Month Deal With Her Husband

‘What was your mum like, Ben?’ she asked instead. Maybe if he understood more about his past, she would understand him a bit better.

He sighed. ‘Driven, cold, emotionally stunted.’

Wow, okay then.

‘She was a nuclear engineer, right?’

‘Yes, she worked for a company I’m pretty sure is a cover for the British government,’ Ben told her. ‘She was obsessed with her work and I got my work ethic from her.’

‘And, possibly, your dad. People in Iceland aren’t slouches when it comes to working.’

‘Point taken, but my mother was a next-level workaholic. Nothing ever came between her and her work,’ he said and Millie heard a note of...something in his voice. Longing or resentment—a combination of both? She wasn’t sure.

‘Tell me something good about her,’ Millie said, wanting him to move on to a happier memory. It was what she did, or what she was trying to do, when she got caught up in theWhy didn’t my mum believe me or be honest with me?spiral. ‘Did she binge eat chocolate or have a funny laugh?’

She’d never met his mum and she wondered about the woman who’d birthed him. She felt Ben pull away from her, just a little, and she followed, tucking herself back into his side. She wasn’t going to allow him to scoot away, emotionally or physically.

‘She was super-intelligent, her IQ was off the charts,’ Ben eventually told her. ‘She would never mix her food—if she had potatoes, vegetables and meat on her plate, she’d eat each one separately. Ah, what else? She was utterly unemotional, brutally honest and had no concept of tact. If she thought you were an idiot, then that’s what you were. She believed you could do anything you wanted to, achieve anything at all, as long as you put your mind to it and worked hard. She didn’t accept failure, ever.’

Millie rubbed her cold and itchy nose with the side of her hand. She knew, from those few sentences, that she hadn’t been fun to live with and her expectations of Ben had been off the charts. Being raised by somebody like that had to have been difficult. No wonder he wasn’t a warm and fuzzy type of guy.

‘Is she the reason you don’t want to have kids?’ Millie asked. ‘Because you suspect you might be like her?’

Ben stopped and looked down at her. In the half-daylight, half-night light, his eyes were a hard blue. ‘I’m exactly like her, Millie, don’t think I’m not.’

She laughed and Ben jerked back. ‘Don’t be ridiculous, you’re nothing like that! Sure, you don’t wear your heart on your sleeve, but you know how to laugh and you know how to make a woman feel special. You’ve listened to me talk about my mum and my issues with Magnús. You helped me re-balance those scales. You took me all over the country on a holiday trip I’ll never forget and were thoughtful enough to hang around in a hot pool, hoping for the lights to appear because you knew how much I wanted to see them. Youseeme, Ben.’

‘You don’t know me, Millie, not really,’ Ben told her.

He looked so serious and Millie felt a frisson of fear run up her spine. ‘Of course I do,’ she protested. ‘Okay, maybe I don’t know all your history, but I know what makes youyou. You embody what I value most...’

‘And that is?’ he challenged.

‘Honesty,’ she told him. ‘You’ve always been honest with me and that means more to me than anything else.’

Ben released a tiny snort, part-laughter, part-derision. ‘You’re seeing me through rose-coloured glasses, Millie.’

‘Are you telling me that you haven’t been honest with me?’ Millie demanded.

‘I’m telling you that you’ve chosen to see what you want to see. You still think that I’m going to cave and give you a baby, don’t you?’

How had a massive chasm opened up between them, why were they suddenly arguing? Millie saw the annoyance in Ben’s eyes and, when he repeated his question, she threw her hands up in the air. ‘I’m hoping that you are,’ she admitted. She was also hoping he’d come to love her and that they’d have a life together.

‘Please don’t bank on it, Millie.’

CHAPTER NINE

BACKINREYKJAVIK, Millie left the taxi and walked up the path to Ben’s front door. She slipped inside his house, kicked off her boots in the hall and hung her coat up on a rack. She rested the package on the hall table, still unable to believe the contents held within the plain cardboard box.

Finally alone, she slid down the wall to sit on the cold floor of the hallway and tears, hot and acidic, slid down her cheeks. The house had underfloor heating, but the hall, separated from the rest of the house by frosted glass doors, was chillier.

She just needed a moment to get herself under control, a few minutes to make sense of what was in the box. She’d wanted answers, but they weren’t what she’d expected. Not even close.

Millie heard the glass doors opening, but she didn’t look up, silently begging Ben to go away. She didn’t want to explain the reason for her tears, wasn’t sure if she could. There were no words...

Not for what she’d just discovered.

Millie felt Ben’s hand on her head and then he crouched down in front of her, easily balancing on the balls of his feet. He placed his finger under her chin and lifted her face, but Millie slammed her eyes shut, not wanting him to see her cry.

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