Page 31 of A Nine-Month Deal With Her Husband

He lifted his hand and Millie looked to where he was pointing. She saw a hint of green and thought her eyes were playing tricks on her. Then the sky started to pulsate with the strangest, most beautiful luminous green light. Millie’s mouth fell open and she clutched Ben’s arm, digging her nails into his skin.

‘Are those...could those be...am I looking at the Northern Lights?’

Ben gently removed her hand from his arm and pulled her to stand in front of him and bent his knees so that their bodies were immersed in the water.

‘I received a text alert when we were in bed saying that the conditions were optimal and that there was a good chance of them making an appearance. I didn’t tell you because I didn’t want you to be disappointed if they didn’t appear.’ He rested his chin on the top of her head as yellow joined green in a slinky, sensuous tango across the sky. ‘I was about to call it a night and take you back to bed when I saw a hint of green on the horizon.’

Millie nodded, unable to speak as more of the celestial dancers took to the sky. Pink waltzed with blue, orange with purple in an indescribable light show. It felt as though some mystical force in the universe was finger painting, drawing an omnipotent finger through a palette of brightly coloured oil paints.

Millie stood in Ben’s arms, utterly transfixed. It seemed to her that the world was holding its breath and the sea had stopped throwing waves against the rocks in deference to the majesty of the lights. She didn’t want to talk or examine how she was feeling—her thoughts and emotions and her entire existence were all inconsequential right now. She was glad that Ben seemed to understand that words would spoil the moment.

He just held her, occasionally drifting a finger across her skin under the water to remind her he was there, here with her. Millie forgot her face was cold, that the night seemed darker than it had been before. All she could do was to try, in the best way she could, to take it all in.

She wanted to make memories and wanted every hue, every wave, every drumbeat of colour to be burned on her internal memory bank. She knew she was privileged to witness this, to stand under a majestic sky and be both overwhelmed and entertained. She couldn’t tell how long they watched the lights, it could’ve been minutes or days, but she didn’t care. Although he’d witnessed the ultimate light show many times before, Ben didn’t rush her, he just waited until the last flicker of colour faded away before leading her out of the pool. Bemused, and bewitched, Millie kept looking at the sky as he shoved her into her gown, before pulling on his own. It was only when he guided her on to the icy wooden path that led back to their suite that she was shocked back into reality.

‘I can’t believe that happened,’ she whispered. His hand tightened around hers and she felt rather than saw his contented smile.

‘It was one of the more intense ones I’ve seen,’ Ben admitted, his deep voice sliding over her skin like melted molasses.

She tugged on his hand and braked. Ben stopped and turned around. When he lifted his eyebrows, she cleared her throat and tried to speak past the emotion. ‘Thank you. That was...um...unbelievable. I will never forget...’ She dashed her tears away with impatient fingers.

Seeming to understand she couldn’t express what she wanted to say, how emotional she felt, Ben dropped his head to kiss her temple. ‘Let’s go to bed, sweetheart.’

CHAPTER EIGHT

MILLIETHOUGHTTHATafter a good sleep her revving-in-the-red-zone emotions would die down. But the next morning, watching Ben—dressed only in jeans and a cashmere sweater over a long-sleeved shirt—talk on his mobile outside, she knew everything had changed.

She wanted Ben in her life. Permanently. She wanted him as a lover, a husband and the father of her children. But loving someone meant trusting them, something she found intensely hard to do. She couldn’t handle Ben lying to her, couldn’t cope if he disappointed her. He could hurt her and cut her into a million emotional pieces.

But, despite their amazing Icelandic fling, him showing her the country of her birth, the laughter and the loving, she knew he hadn’t caught as many feelings as her. Or any at all.

She was his wife, but in name only. He was her lover, but he’d given her no hint he wanted to continue seeing her after the gala concert, and they hadn’t spoken again about her sperm donor request.

Despite them spending every moment of the last ten days together, she didn’t know him much better than she had when she first arrived in Reykjavik. It was obvious there was so much below his urbane façade and she couldn’t access any of his hidden depths. Millie didn’t know if she ever would. Ben was an island, a place you got to visit, but never to know.

It was so typical of her that the one man she loved, the only person she’d ever fully trusted, was the one man who only wanted a specific amount from her and no more. He knew so much about her, far more than anyone else, yet what she knew about his inner world would fit on a postage stamp.

Something was bugging him, he was wrestling with an issue. What was he trying to work out? Why couldn’t he share it with her? Why did he need to hide it? Why wouldn’t he let her help? She wanted to be the person he confided in, the woman who knew him better than anyone else. The one he turned to, valued, whose opinion was important.

Millie placed her hand on the cold glass and sighed. Ben’s back was to her, and she took in his height, his strength, his solidity. Was she imagining herself to be in love with him because he was exactly what she wanted in a man? As a father for her children? Oh, he wasn’t perfect, far from it. He could be impatient and unbelievably, tactlessly blunt, but he was, at the core of him, solid and calm. But so emotionally elusive...

Ben turned, saw her looking at him through the window and his slow smile heated her from the inside out. He dropped his phone to his side and walked over to the door, sliding it open. Millie stepped back and squealed when he put his cold hand on her cheek.

‘How can you be out there without a jacket?’ she asked.

‘Viking blood,’ he quickly replied. ‘It’s a couple of degrees warmer than it was yesterday.’

Millie shook her head. ‘That doesn’t help when the temps dip below zero, Jónsson.’ She saw that the light was fading and shook her head. It wasn’t even three in the afternoon yet!

Ben tossed his phone on the coffee table that stood between the two couches and perched on the arm of the nearest couch. ‘I was just talking to Einar about rearranging my St Barth trip. I’ll be missing the first night of my friend’s stag do, but that’s not an issue.’

Millie winced. ‘Look, if you need to be there—’

‘All I’ll miss is the hangover the next morning,’ Ben assured her. ‘Einar also spoke to Bettina who is, supposedly, delighted I will be escorting you. It’s good PR,’ he said, humour dancing in his deep blue eyes.

‘Jacq’s daughter and ex-partner arriving together will make a good story and will generate headlines and good press for the foundation.’

Was that why he had agreed to accompany her to the gala concert? Because it would be excellent PR for the Star Shine Foundation? Did his change of heart have anything at all to do with her? She thought he’d agreed to be there to support her, but now she wasn’t so sure.

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