Page 30 of A Nine-Month Deal With Her Husband

‘Well, she kept one hell of a one from me,’ Millie said, sounding bitter. ‘And, yes, I’m still angry with her for leaving me with all these questions and what ifs.’

‘What ifs?’

‘I don’t have a family, Ben...so what if my dad is out there and what if he needs a family as much as I do? What if I have an underlying medical condition that I have inherited from him? What if I pass on something from him to any kids I might have?’ Behind her, Ben tensed. She was spoiling this night by talking about her past and she should stop.

She sighed. She knew she was being overly dramatic. ‘Not knowing who he is, whether he is still alive or whether he even knew about me, keeps me awake at night, Benedikt.’

He stroked her arm, from her shoulder to the tips of her fingers. ‘I know, sweetheart.’

‘And it would help if I understood why my mum kept it from me.’ Millie half turned to face him. ‘You don’t know anything about him, right?’

He looked her in the eye and pushed a strand of damp hair off her forehead. ‘No, sweetheart. I didn’t know anything about this until you told me.’ Ben cuddled her close. ‘I’m so sorry, Millie. If it helps, I wish I could go back in time—I’d change that for you.’

Millie traced patterns on his wrist and up his arm. ‘I just wished she’d trusted me,’ Millie said. ‘Between them, they did a good job of teaching me not to trust anyone.’

‘Explain that, Mils.’

‘If my mum, the person who I loved, who loved me, could lie to me, I think anybody can. And will. But Magnús messed me up as well,’ she added. ‘I hate the thought of being controlled and, because he could never love me, I doubt anyone can, except, maybe, any children I have. I wasn’t a bad kid, Ben, I tried so hard to be a good daughter, someone he could love, but I never got there.’

‘You do know it was his issue, Mils, and not yours?’

‘Intellectually I do, emotionally, I still have my doubts. I’ve had guys who told me they loved me, but I could never quite believe it and, because I couldn’t trust what they said, or them, they eventually gave up on me. Or I gave up on them.’

‘Oh, Millie,’ Ben murmured.

‘I’ve spent so much emotional energy on trying to figure my mum and stepfather out, trying to work out their motives for doing what they did,’ Millie told him, wiggling her toes. ‘The only thing that gives me a little comfort is that I made Magnús’s life hell for a few years. He took some hits for his daughter, the walking, talking PR disaster.’

‘Yeah, you landed a few blows, Mils. Unfortunately, Magnús didn’t take the heat, I did. You wouldn’t believe how many times I had to sweet-talk a client, how many times I heard the “why should they give me their PR account when we couldn’t manage to keep the founder’s daughter out of the news cycle” question. I became an expert in tap dancing.’

Millie turned to face him and scrunched her face. ‘Oh, Ben, I’m so sorry. I never imagined you’d take the flak for what I did.’

‘I think I overcame the hurdle you presented, Mils,’ he drily informed her.

Since he—they—now owned a multi-international firm with clients based all around the world, it was obvious he had.

Millie leaned her back against the bath’s wall and pulled her knees up to her chest. ‘Thank you for marrying me, Ben. Thank you for giving me an out and for looking after my interests so well.’

‘Why did you trust me enough to put yourself in my hands?’ he asked, after a short, emotional silence.

She thought for a minute, wondering how to explain. ‘I think it’s because my mum did. And when I suggested that we get married, you didn’t throw me out of your office, you listened to what I had to say. And you were so straightforward, so...blunt. I appreciated that. And I appreciated you writing down the terms of our marriage, what we could and couldn’t do, what was expected.’

Ben picked up a curl that had fallen loose from her bun and rubbed the damp hair between his fingers. ‘You do know our agreement couldn’t be used in a court of law, right?’

Millie rolled her eyes at his question. ‘Of course I do, Benedikt, I knew it back then, too. But that you wrote it down, with our signatures, meant something to me. I’ve always disliked shadows, but I felt back then, as I do now, that you are a man who stands in the sunshine. With you, I get what I see.’

She felt him tense and frowned when he pulled his shoulder and leg away from hers. What did she say? Why was he pulling back? Had she, in some way, got that statement, or him, wrong?

No, she was being ridiculous. Ben had been the same man for the past twelve years, nothing had changed. He was still as forthright and blunt as he ever was, as most Icelandic people, except for Magnús, were. She was letting her imagination off its leash. But she had to ask. ‘Is there something I should know, Ben? Something you aren’t telling me?’

Ben dropped his head and brushed his lips across hers in a kiss that was both racy and reassuring. ‘Sweetheart, you’re getting worked up and that’s not what I thought would happen at half-midnight in a hot pool.’

Right...he wasright. But Millie noticed he didn’t answer her question. She thought about asking him again, pushing for more, but suspected Ben would retreat behind his armour of implacability and reserve. No, she was being silly and was spoiling the moment.

Then Ben smiled, placed a hand on her shoulder and released an audible sigh. ‘Finally,’ he murmured. ‘I was about to give up on you.’

Millie wondered who he was talking to, but, before she could ask him, he slipped off her seat and walked to the other side of the tub. Ben placed his forearms on the side of the tub and she copied his movements.

‘What are we looking at, Ben?’ she asked, noticing that his eyes were fixed on the horizon.

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