Page 210 of Royally Cursed

Stay with me, Ayla. We’re there. I promise I won’t let go.

I couldn’t say anything back. I just held on for dear life while launched through a kaleidoscope of feelings and memories.

People who’d died because of me. People I’d saved. Wonderful scenes I’d seen other people share, knowing I could never have them myself. Seeing Kai’s handsome face for the first time. The last time we kissed.

They all rushed around us, and then like a crack of lightning exploding after building up far too long, I was thrusted back into my body with asnap.

“Get her a bucket!” was all I heard before I retched terribly, my entire body rattling from the effort.

It was awful and lasted so long that by the time I finally collapsed backward, my throat felt like sandpaper. I blearily looked around and realized I was in Kai’s quarters.

That was when everything came rushing back to me, and my stomach sank. They’d knocked me out. I’d never been dosed before and, considering my reaction, I never wanted to be again.

“M-M-Mad Dog,” I rasped, my voice barely audible, even to myself.

“He’s still alive,” a voice came from beside me. I flicked my aching eyes over to see Kai. He looked distraught, his face pale with dark circles under his eyes. I had taken more from him than I’d thought, hadn’t I? “The healers have managed to get him to a somewhat stable point.”

I tried to sit up, but then multiple pairs of hands were on me.

“Hey, hey, what are you doing?” Kai said, sounding stupidly alarmed.

I probably should have felt guilty for how rough he looked, but at that moment, all I could feel was a burning rage.

“I have to heal him,” I said in a snarl. I had to try, at least.

“You’re in no condition to do so,” a gentle voice came from my other side. I realized it was Darla as she oh so tenderly slipped my inhibitor bracelet onto my wrist. “I’m going to be honest with you, Ayla, the place I found you in scared me. I’ve never seen anything like this before.”

I shook my head, but that just made me dizzy. I really had failed, hadn’t I? “But I have to heal him.”

“You will,” Kai said, his hand dwarfing mine. “But you can’t do that right away. You need to focus on getting stronger so youcanhelp.”

I opened my mouth to argue, but I knew I didn’t have a leg to stand on.

What was I supposed to do? I’d never met something that’d defeated my magic so thoroughly. I felt tricked, completely out of my depth.

Was this what Yvonne meant when she talked about my curse growing unstable? If it was, then I really needed to disappear. I couldn’t justify any more suffering just so I could have fun.

“It’s only because of you he’s even alive,” Kai said, leaning forward and kissing the top of my sweaty head. “So, please, my love, rest.”

Rest.

That made sense.

But the thought of closing my eyes, of possibly returning to nothingness and the impossible weight, made me want to sob.

“I…”

“Yes, my dear?”

“I’m scared,” I said finally. My gaze flicked between my mate and my best friend, beseeching them to understand, to not think I was weak. “I don’t wanna go back.”

“Go back?” Kai said, and thankfully Darla answered me.

“The place I found her in wasn’t good. The best I could describe it as is something similar to soldiers with really bad PTSD I’ve talked to, but with a drug stupor added on top.”

“I’m so sorry, Ayla,” Kai cooed. “You don’t have to go back, and if you accidentally slip into there, Darla will be right here to get you out again.”

“That’s right,” the psychic said with a nod. “I swear on my life.”

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