Page 54 of Falling For The Enemy (The Gilbert Curse)

Rory leaned back against the butter-soft cushions with a sigh. “I don’t know. I’m so... God, I’m feeling too much. One person isn’t meant to have all of these emotions at one time.”

“Yes, you are. There’s nothing wrong with feeling that much,” Elle said. “You can be mad and still care about him. You can be hurt and not hate him.”

“Thanks for saying that. I am just so confused. How could I have spent all that time with Kit and never once suspected he was lying?”

Indy shrugged, tipping her head to the side as she considered this. “Part of me thinks it’s because Kit wasn’t lying to you. Or he didn’t think of it as lying.”

Rory hadn’t thought of that. “He definitely did at first. He knew I was Dash’s sister...”

“So you think he’s just a liar?” Elle asked. “Is it because he’s Declan’s brother you think he’s like him?”

Rory chewed her lower lip between her teeth. “No. He’snothinglike Declan was. Nothing. And I think he’s been my white knight coming in the clutch when I needed him.”

Elle leaned over to give her a one-armed hug. “So if Kit’s not like his brother what does that mean?”

Rory looked down at her lap. She didn’t know. All she knew for sure was that the man she’d fallen for hadn’t used her. He’d been kind and almost selfless taking her to try things and helping her learn to live again. Was heartbreak the last lesson he had for her?

She realized she was struggling to believe that. And the white-hot anger and betrayal she’d felt when she’d learned who he was had started to cool. Now there was just hurt. And she knew it wasn’t just hurt at his lie by omission, but hurt forhim. Dash had behaved horribly to Kit’s family, treating them like they were responsible for Declan’s crime. She could understand and forgive Dash for that. So it followed she should be able to forgive Kit for harboring his own animosity toward Dash.

“I just don’t know what to do,” she said at last.

“Love is complicated... I’m assuming you love him. Otherwise none of this would matter. You’d be able to get pissed, give him the finger and move on.”

“Yeah, I think it is. I mean, it’s not like I always imagined love to be, because it’s not perfect and it’s messy. But I miss him. I’m still mad at him and I really hate that he lied to me, but I miss him.”

“Love is like that,” Elle said. “I understood why Dash couldn’t commit to me and it didn’t make me fall out of love with him.”

“I remember that,” Rory said. Watching Dash work up the courage to open his heart had shown her a new side to her brother.

“So, what do you want to do?” Indy asked. “If you still love him, then how can we help?”

She smiled at the two of them. “You already have. I was sitting her going over the last time I saw him and feeling so stupid and betrayed. But talking to you two has helped me figure out that it’s okay to still love him.”

“Of course it is,” Elle said.

Rory released another sigh. While she honestly wasn’t sure how she was going to move past this, she knew she was going to have to talk to Kit. She wanted to know why he’d been at her bedside in the hospital and then see where they could go from here.

After Indy and Elle left, Rory took a shower, and as she sat at her vanity doing her hair, she asked herself if she wanted Kit back because she loved him, or if she was simply afraid to be on her own.

She thought of the last few days when she’d had no trouble being on her own and knew she didn’t need a man in her life. She wanted Kit. Just Kit. Life with him was sweeter than anything she could have imagined. But he was going to have to promise to never lie to her again and...she was going to have to figure out if she could believe in him again.

Making up his mind to try to talk to Rory was one thing; actually feeling like he had any idea what to say to her was something else. But Kit didn’t want any more time to go by. He’d been sitting in his house up the street from hers, just sort of waiting. He had hoped he’d see her walking by or even at Lulu’s, where he’d gotten a dirty look from Lulu when he’d gone in with his laptop and sat at a table in the back hoping to catch a glimpse of Rory.

But she hadn’t come in and he’d found that he wasn’t as thick-skinned as he’d always thought he was. He’d never meant for anyone—certainly not Rory—to get hurt. Which was how he found himself in Boston at the cemetery, where both Declan and his father were laid to rest. He didn’t know what he’d hoped for when he visited their graves but his heart was heavy.

He stooped low next to his father’s headstone. It was simple, with just his name and the dates of his birth and death. Aunt Mal had addedBeloved husband, father and brother. But Kit had never really felt the “beloved father” part. His emotions toward his dad were so tied up in resentment and disappointment at the role that Kit had been forced into.

But knowing what he did now, he was sorry he’d let those last years with his father slip away. As much as Kit hadn’t really wanted to take on a leadership role in the family business, being CEO had suited him as nothing else had.

Swallowing a lump in his throat, he put his hand on his father’s headstone.

He wanted one more talk with his dad. But that wasn’t possible. And really what would he say?Sorry I was douchey at the end of your life?Yeah, that wasn’t much of a conversation starter. He just quietly apologized to his father, hoping his soul had moved on and maybe he knew that his son finally had let go of the bitterness that he’d been harboring all these years.

He finally stood up, putting his hands in his back pockets as he turned to the other headstone. This...he was dreading. He had so many complicated feelings toward Dec. His older brother. The guy who’d taught him to ride his bike, let him have his first underage sip of beer and had comforted him when their mother had died. No matter that he’d been killed in a car crash, Kit had still looked up to him.

But he couldn’t...not anymore. Not after learning what he had done to Rory. He sighed, wanting to kick Dec’s headstone but knew that would be useless. Instead, he crouched down and leaned in close as if somehow Dec’s spirit was trapped in the headstone. “How could you do that? How could you be the kind of man who took your anger and disappointment out on a girl? That sweet, brave, remarkable girl. I don’t pretend to understand any of your actions.”

He shook his head as angry tears burned his eyes. “You were always my hero, Dec, not because you were perfect or anything like that. But because you were my brother and I thought you were better than what you became.”

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