Page 56 of Undoing His Innocent Enemy (Hot Winter Escapes)

He was only half a man—hadalwaysbeen half a man—without her. He knew that now. And he wanted to be whole again.

Cara climbed out of the car, not waiting for the security guard to open the door.

Nerves assailed her as a tall man in a business suit appeared from the imposing entrance to the huge mansion at the end of the spit of land.

The house, with its ornate gables and elegant, austere façade, was intimidating.

But not as intimidating as the man as he headed towards her across the frozen lawn.

Logan.

But not Logan. Not as she remembered him. This man was clean-shaven, his once long wavy hair shorn close to his head. And he wore a suit, the jacket lifting in the chilly wind, and flattening against his big body.

Her heart pulsed hard, battering her ribs, as he came close enough for her to register his expression. Not blank. Not the way it had been in the press photos she’d scoured a dozen times while on the budget flight to Boston she’d caught early this morning in Dublin.

It had taken her two bus rides to get here from Boston airport. Her stomach rolled over as she debated the wisdom of coming all this way. Of being so determined to see him again. She tried to find the fury that had gripped her two days ago, when she’d made the decision to come. But it had died during the long journey. Until all that was left was sadness, and confusion and guilt... And the endless regret.

He stopped in front of her. His jaw clenched tight as his gaze roamed over her.

Was that heat, longing, she saw in the steely blue? Or accusation?

A shiver ran through her, although she had on her winter coat. And was dressed a lot more warmly than he was. How could he look so invulnerable, dressed only in his indoor clothes?

He nodded to the security guard behind her, dismissing him. As the man left, and she heard the vehicle drive away, she wrapped her arms around her body, the chills running through her now not from the cold, but his fierce perusal.

He took her arm. ‘Come inside, before you freeze,’ he said. Her breath shuddered out as the familiar yearning pressed at her chest from his touch, but she didn’t stop him as he led her into the house.

The place was enormous, the vaulted ceilings, the antique furniture, the sombre lighting, the smell of old wood and lemon polish, so different from the clean, unfussy lines and open airy spaces of his home in Finland.

She couldn’t picture him here, not at all. Couldn’t imagine he could be happy here.

But she forced herself not to say anything. His happiness was no longer her concern.

He led her into a library off the main hallway. The view across the sound through mullioned windows took in a pool, covered for the winter, and the rocky coastline, a private beach. She’d always know he was rich, but this was next level. And only intimidated her more.

‘Cara?’ he said, turning and propping his backside against the desk. He folded his arms over that broad chest, making her too aware of his body in the tailored suit. ‘Why are you here?’

The direct question finally unlocked the blockage in her throat.

‘The money. Ten million euros, Logan? What was it for?’

He sighed, then stared down at his shoes. Bright flags of colour hit his cheeks as he shrugged. ‘I think,’ he said at last, his gaze finally meeting hers again, ‘it was an apology.’

She was taken aback, but only for a moment. ‘An apology forwhat, Logan?’ she cried, the anguish that she’d kept locked in her heart during the long journey making her voice crack. ‘For letting me fall in love with you? For letting me ruin your life?’ she asked, the tears stinging her eyes. The last of her anger crumbled, breaking open inside her... Because she’d never been angry with him. She’d only ever been angry with herself. Why hadn’t she taken the risk? Gone back with him to his home? Taken a chance on love? Why had she needed guarantees? Why had she wanted him to change? They could have had a good life there, she could have pursued her photography, her passion and...

‘If it hadn’t been for me,’ she said, ‘you would still be in Lapland. Still be safe.’

‘Stop.’ He grasped her hand, yanked her into his body, then wrapped his arms around her. ‘Stop, Cara. I was never safe there, I was simply hiding, because I was a coward. You were right.’

‘That’s not true, Logan.’ She stared up at him, the fierce intensity in his eyes turning them to a pale, silvery blue. She could hear his heart beating as he dragged her against his chest. ‘I was the coward,’ she said as she burrowed into his warmth. ‘I was the one who was too insecure to trust her own feelings. I’m the one who should apologise.’

She banded her arms around him, pressed her face into the clean linen of his shirt. Wanting to hold him for ever and never let him go.

‘Why should you apologise,’ he said, his voice husky with emotion, ‘when all you did was make me face the truth?’ He grasped her cheeks, dragged her face up. His gaze was so expressive, so full of feeling now, she felt her heartbeat gallop into her throat. ‘I was terrified of living,’ he added. ‘Terrified of confronting the past. Terrified even of being touched. I shunned people because it was so much easier to be alone. So much simpler to avoid the emotion of others, when I could barely deal with my own.’

‘Because you suffered a terrible trauma as a young child, Logan,’ she interrupted him, unable to bear the self-disgust in his voice. ‘You learned to cope the only way you could. There’s nothing wrong with that,’ she said, wanting him to see who she saw when she looked at him, not that broken child, but a strong, resilient man. ‘It was wrong of me to make you think that wasn’t enough.’

‘Yes, I learned to cope... But at what cost?’ He let out a harsh laugh, the sound painful, the shudder of emotion making her hold him tighter, trying to absorb the pain of that traumatised boy that swirled in his eyes. ‘My solitude became my sanctuary for so long that, when my grandfather died, I did not want to return here...’

---