Avery chuckled. “Let’s leave before you get caught in the crossfire.”
We turned around and left the room, closing the door behind us, and made our way downstairs. I couldn’t shake the empty pit in my stomach that I felt from watching Avery and Alistair interact.
I wanted that.
My brain immediately started to paint a picture of showing Deon my outfit and him descending into playful overprotectiveness. Looking at me with wide eyes and telling me he was going to wait up. I missed him so much it made my stomach hurt, and all of a sudden, I didn’t feel much like going out. I should be looking for Deon.
“Cherri?” Avery asked. We’d made our way clear into the living room while I was lost in thought and Avery pulled me down onto the couch. “Are you okay?”
“Yeah. Just that interaction between you and Ali made me miss Deon more than I was expecting,” I explained. “I feel like I’m not doing enough to find him. He could be in trouble and I’m about to go out for a fucking drink with my girls.”
“There’s only so much we can do.” Avery pet my head gently. “And honestly, I think we’re doing more than most teenagers would be able to do in this situation. Yeah, we have a ton of money to throw around, not to mention our own personal technical genius, but at the end of the day, we’re just a bunch of kids, even if Nathan has the brain and maturity of like a thirty-year-old.”
“I guess…”
“For two days, we’ve made strides, or we’ve tried to at least. All we’re doing is what it takes to survive as kids in this world. We already lost our entire second senior semester, we can’t throw away our summer too. Deon’s a strong, capable guy, and we’re doing the best we can. We shouldn’t just be miserable while we’re waiting for the other shoe to drop.”
I nodded. She wasn’t wrong, and I knew that, but it didn’t mean I missed Deon any less. “You’re right. I’m sorry.”
“You don’t have to apologize. I know you miss him, but I believe, and I know you do too, that Deon is out there, alive. We’ll find him or he’ll find us. We just have to be patient and in the meantime, you said so yourself, we have to make the most of the time we have left.” Avery pulled me into a hug. “I’ll try to be less coupley with Ali.”
“No, no, I don’t want that. Thank you for being willing, though,” I said.
After a while, Colette and Nikita came down to the living room, then we all piled into Avery’s car and left for Colette’s mom’s sushi restaurant. The dynamic was different, but in a good way. Avery, Colette, and Nikita were all so comfortable with each other, especially Nikita and Colette. The shroud hanging over Nikita before I left The Royal Court that seemed to be lifted, and though she was still dressed in dark colors and jeans with chains hanging from them, her jeans were a little more form-fitting, and her t-shirt/vest combo showed a little more skin. There was an added femininity there that was different, but nice to see on her.
We were seated at a private table near the back of the restaurant. We’d been there many times before, but it felt extra comforting for me—like coming home after being gone for a long time. A bottle of wine had already been corked and was waiting open in a chiller for us. Thanks to Colette’s family owning the place, we were allowed to skate on some controlled underage drinking. An edamame appetizer had been placed in the middle of the table as well. Waiters came over quickly enough to take our orders, and then we were left to ourselves.
Surprisingly enough, it was Nikita who bubbled up the conversation. She looked across at me and gave me a coy grin. “You were shocked I agreed to come, huh?”
“You got me,” I replied. “I remember you avoiding us at all costs.”
“I’ll admit, before, I wasn’t really interested in bonding, least of all with you. I mean, you were with Nathan, and everyone loved you…” She looked at Avery and Colette. “These two adored you, so it wasn’t like I could bond with them without you.”
“I’m just gonna say it,” Colette said. “Cherri, I amsohappy that you’re back, but you leaving The Royal Court…” She cast nervous glances at Avery and Nikita before settling on me. “It waskindathe best thing that’s ever happened to us.”
“Ouch,” I said. “I deserve that.”
“It’s not meant to be insulting, like I said, I’m so glad you’re back, but The Royal Court was toxic, and a lot of it was centered around you and your relationship with Nathan. You didn’t make us toxic, in fact, you were the only thing that was still kind of good about us, but it was all kind of self-serving, and that always came back around to the fact that you were the queen. I knew I was never gonna bebetterthan you, so I just worried about myself.”
“Yeah!” Avery yelped, then she looked at me with wide-eyes. “I love you, Cherri, so much. It broke my heart when you left, but I get what they’re saying. You and your relationship with Nathan was like this crazy benchmark I was never going to hit. You’re so perfect.”
“Then we saw that you weren’t,” Nikita said with a smile. “We saw you deteriorate and change, and when you were gone we fucking fell apart. I’m not lying, it was like you were the pin in the grenade. Once it was pulled, things went to shit fast.”
Colette started to chuckle. “Oh my god. We used to just sit at the lunch table in complete silence. Seriously. I’d try my hardest to start a conversation, but it was like I was talking to a wall. Nathan was guilty, Nikki and Avery were heartbroken, I was delusional, Brayden was planning our imminent demise, and poor Kyle, Jax, and Ali, they wereexhaustedjust trying to hold us together.”
Avery and Nikita joined in the laughter. “It was touch and go for a while,” Avery said. “Nathan dressed up like Santa in, what was it, January or February? I can’t remember. Time is a blur.”
“Yeah, and Colette trying to give Cherri that box.” Nikita had tears in her eyes. “Remember when Cherri completely ignored her and then she turned around and told everyone she’d talked to Cherri and things were going to get better?”
Colette shivered. “It makes me cringe just thinking about it.”
Nikita shook her head. “I was like, oh man, this girl has really lost it.”
I couldn’t tell if I was warmed or uncomfortable by the conversation, so I just sat and let them toss the ball around. Finally, Avery looked across at me and smiled. “Yeah. Turns out we were allwaymore attached to you than we realized.” It made me think of Nathan’s confession that he thinks of me like family and it killed him when I was gone. “Ali didn’t want to forgive Nathan for a long time. Nikki either actually.”
“We struggled,” Colette said, “but that struggle led to some pretty astounding changes. We got closer. We becameactualfriends. Even you, Cherri. You grew and changed so much and now you’re so much more of the person you want to be. That sucked. God, it sucked so much. I think I cried every day for months and got no sleep, but I can’t bring myself to say it wasn’t worth it.”
“Yeah,” Nikita said, “And not just because I’m finally with Nathan, but because it took the blinders off for me.” She smiled at Colette and Avery. “I can’t believe I spent so much time not letting myself get close with these two.” She side-eyed me. “Or you.”