“I think that too,” I replied, “but at this point he’s gone, and as far as I know, he isn’t coming back.”

“Did Nathan tell you this? Is that where it’s coming from? He’s pressuring you into moving in with him or something?”

“No. Nathan actually thinks he’s alive too, but none of us has any clue where he is or anything… My old friend group, The Royal Court, they’ve had a tough six months and we all just really need to hunker down together and treat ourselves well after the time we’ve all had. It won’t just be Nathan and me. Sicily will be there a lot too, plus all of my other friends, and Nathan has a new girlfriend now. A girl he’salwaysbeen in love with, named Nikita.”

“After what he did to you, suddenly he’s a good guy?” Ciara asked.

She was referring to the fact that, by all accounts, Nathan raped me. I was far from the last person that was going to make any excuses for a man that assaulted me, but the man that was in that bathroom that day, pointing a gun at me and forcing me down to my knees, wasnotNathan Loche. He was Connor Loche’s darkness in Nathan Loche’s shell.

“What he did wasn’t okay, but he was just as much a victim to Connor Loche as me or you. Maybe even more because you were able to fight back, I was able to leave, but Nathan had nothing. Connor tortured him, Ciara. For all intents and purposes, he tortured his own son. It’s not his fault. I’ve forgiven Nathan for that. Truth told, I forgave him for that before Deon even went missing. I knew it wasn’t him.”

“That’s why you went to save him from Connor?” Ciara asked.

“Yeah, and I know you won’t believe me, but Nathan loves Deon. He loved Deon when he went to live with them, and even when Deon came home, Nathan tried in his own way to extend an olive branch. It was covered in Connor’s shit, so it didn’t work, but he did try. He’d be just as happy to see Deon again as we would be.”

Ciara sat in silence for a few minutes, took a few bites of her food, took a few sips of her coffee, and then sighed. “So you’re going to work with Nathan to find Deon?”

“Well, if we hear anything we’ll follow it, but we don’t have much to go off of right now,” I lied. The truth was, we had more than a couple of threads to pull on, but Ciara didn’t need to know that for now. “I’m going to go and talk to my parents. Give them a much needed apology, then I’ll be headed to Nathan’s.”

“I understand,” Ciara said. “I’m going to miss my roommate.”

“I’m gonna miss you too, but I promise to check in often, and who knows, maybe this time next year, we’ll be sitting around a table with Deon, laughing about all of this nonsense.”

A small smile came to Ciara’s face. “I certainly hope so.”

I took my time finishing breakfast and talking with Ciara, then I packed up the clothes I had, gave her a huge hug, loaded into my car, and started it up to leave.

Ciara leaned into the driver’s side window and petted a hand over my hair. “You’ll be careful, won’t you, sweetheart? Sometimes I think you forget that you’re still just a kid.”

“I will, I promise,” I said.

She pulled back, and I gave her one final wave before backing out of the driveway and officially leaving North Postings for a while.

It’d been a while since I’d last driven down to South Postings. My family lived there, ever since my father got promoted, and all of my friends lived there as well, apart from Sicily, who lived in Postings Proper not far from the high school. The time between when Deon first went missing and the beginning of winter break, I just sort of went through the motions, but I officially started to lose it during the break. I’d stay out all night with Sicily, sometimes not coming home, and eventually my parents started to lose their patience with me. All they had to do was see my new, dramatic look and learn that I wasn’t going toanyclasses when school resumed after winter break to tell me that if I didn’t shape up, I was gone.

They kicked me out a week after that.

Fortunately, Ciara took me in, and at least from the standpoint that she was suffering in the same way I was, I was far more respectful of her home than my own parents’, which was far from fair. That was where I planned to start my apology. They wouldn’t get the full, honest story, because I wanted them to have deniable culpability if shit hit the fan, but I’d tell them enough to explain.

I’d have to deal with Gus too, but I was dreading that more than my parents.

Even though I had a key to the house, I knocked when I got to the front door. My heart was pounding faster than I expected it to be. They were just my parents, that was it, but that didn’t make me any less nervous.

The door opened and my mother was standing on the other side. Her face flashed a variety of emotions all in the span of about six seconds—shock, relief, anger, love, frustration—all emotions she was entitled to. “Cherri,” she finally got out.

“Hi mom,” I said, and the more normal tone of my voice must have instilled some confidence that I was better than the last time we spoke, because she smiled a little. “Um… I’m here to apologize, and explain. Can I come in?”

Instead of a verbal response, my mom reached out and curled her arms around me. She dragged me into a hug, squeezing me tightly, and I hugged her back with the same veracity. I’d always been very close with my parents, and being without them those past six months had been awful.

It felt nice to be back.

“Come in,” she said. She released me and led the way in. “Should I call Gus or just your father?”

“Just Dad for now,” I said. “Gus is going to be a whole different battle.”

She looked back over her shoulder at me. “Yes, he will.”

We walked into the kitchen, and I sat down on one of the stools at the island. My mom continued through the other exit back towards the hallway leading down to my father’s office. It was a little strange being back in the kitchen, with its marbled granite countertops and dark brown cabinetry. For some reason I was looking for differences, as if things would have changed drastically.