Page 92 of Hurt for Me

Ben swiveled in his computer chair to face her. “Youareready, and youwillpass. It usually takes people two to three months to prepare if they work full time, but you’ve been lucky to have time to study during the day, and you’re smarter than you give yourself credit for. Better to take it tomorrow like you planned than wait until you have a screaming baby. Trust me.”

The online test was almost eight hours long, and she hoped the website was right in saying she could get the results the same day. Ben was going to pick up Katelyn for her since she couldn’t pause the test once she started it.

“Thanks,” she said. “I need to get out of my head.”

“Give your brain a break for tomorrow.”

Rae rested the remainder of the day, only leaving her bedroom to play with Katelyn for a bit after Ben got her from school and to help Marilyn with dinner. Marilyn was unusually quiet as they chopped vegetables for a soup, and Rae didn’t mind. Conversations with Marilyn were one sided, like she was interrogating her to find out any small detail to latch on to and criticize. Rae noticed she did it to everyone, including Katelyn. If the girl came home with a scraped knee, Marilyn wouldn’t ask her if she was okay and then tend to it; she’d reprimand her for being careless. In many ways, Marilyn reminded Rae of her own mother.

“I noticed you’ve been studying for your GED,” Marilyn said after she seasoned the soup.

Rae tried not to look surprised. The only way Marilyn would know about her studying was if she’d gone into Rae’s bedroom and snooped around until she found the study guide or if Ben had told her. Either option put her on edge.

“Uh, yeah. I thought it would be a good idea to do it before Lily’s born and I won’t have time to study.”

“Well, don’t be surprised if you fail it the first time.” Marilyn leaned against the kitchen counter. “Besides, I’m planning on taking some leave after you give birth. You know, to help out. You can study then.”

Rae fought to keep the anger from her face. She knew exactly why Marilyn was taking leave. “You don’t have to do that but thank you. I appreciate it.”

“It takes a village, right?”

“Right.”

The GED test the next day was the hardest, longest form of self-torture of Rae’s life, but it was done. She finished the last module right before Ben came home with Katelyn in tow, and all she wanted to do was sleep.

“How’d it go?” Ben asked after he knocked on her door.

“I’m never taking another test again in my entire life.”

He chuckled. “That good, huh? Well, I’m sure you passed.”

“I’m going to be obsessively checking my email until I get the notice.”

“I’ll handle Katelyn so you can decompress.”

“Thanks.”

Rae ended up napping until Marilyn woke her for dinner. She was so drained, she scarfed down her food and went back to her bedroom to crash again.

When she awoke, it was morning, the light filtering through the sheer curtains making everything appear as if it were covered in gauze. But, no, this wasn’t her bedroom. It was Viv’s, and she was lying on Viv’s bed, the same bed she had once crawled into after one of her nightmares. Viv had held her all night, stroking her hair. The familiar ache for her friend was like a pile of large stones resting on her chest, crushing her. She turned onto her side, and Viv calmly stared back, her milky skin ethereal against her black hair. Rae couldn’t get her mouth to form words, so she reached out to touch her, to see if she was real, but Viv’s face turned somber.

“You need to wake up, hon.”

“I don’t want to. I want to stay with you.”

“I wish you could, but you have to wake up.”

“No. Please let me stay with you.”

“You can’t. Get up, Rae. Now!”

She gasped awake. She swore she smelled Viv’s sweet, floral perfume surrounding her, and she started crying. Then she felt wetness underneath her and immediately thought she’d peed the bed. But when she flipped on the nightstand lamp and pulled back the sheets, she saw a great plume of red.

CHAPTER 58

RAE

2024

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