Page 82 of Hurt for Me

Rae froze for several moments, thinking over what she should tell him. If she told him the truth, he could still refuse to help her, but she also didn’t feel right lying to him. There was only one way to find out.She told him about the sub giving the card to Lily and the call with Bobby and his demands.

“I sent Lily over to her friend’s house so I could come here. I was too afraid to leave her there alone. I told her I forgot something important at work.”

“Why didn’t you just tell me this before?” He sounded hurt. “Why did you go through all this fucking pretense?”

“I—I wasn’t sure if I could trust you.”

“Seriously, Rae? You talk about mutual trust with your clients, and you won’t even give me a chance to earn it with you. Why?”

“Because my clients don’t have the power to hurt me like you can!” She immediately wanted to pluck the words from the air, to tuck them back deep inside. It was a truth she’d never spoken aloud, and hearing it made her feel like one of her Shibari ropes slowly fraying. All these years, all the progress she thought she had made to heal from her past, but she still held her trust of men in a cage she was scared to fully open.

Dayton crouched next to her chair and ran his thumb across her cheek, wiping away her tears. “Both of us have that power. And the risk is worth it to me to see where this goes, but if it’s not to you, then say so.”

She searched his face. The closer she got to him, the more the tenderest parts of her seemed to split and ooze, exposing her like an old wound reopened. She didn’t know if he would run when he saw those repugnant parts of her, and she had never allowed anyone close enough to find out. Not even Angel.

She took his hand. “Look, I’m sorry I lied. I was scared for Lily.” She paused, more words on her tongue, but she didn’t say them because it’d be like cutting open her chest and handing him her heart.You’re worth the risk to me too.

Dayton studied her face as if he was waiting for her to say more. He finally looked away. “Okay ... so the flash drive ...” He sat back down and rubbed his face with his hands. “First off, I’d love to know howthey’re so sure I have the footage saved on one. They could’ve tapped into our phones, but I don’t remember us mentioning the drive. And what’s the point of destroying it when we can save endless copies? They have to know that.”

She’d thought of that too. “I don’t know. Maybe it’s symbolic for them. To feel like they have control over us and scare us at the same time.”

“Something about it doesn’t feel right.” He looked out into his yard for several moments and turned back to her. “Think about it. They knew we didn’t belong at the party, but they let us in anyway. I don’t think they would’ve done it if they knew who I was, and I’m not sure if Bobby recognized you until they saw the recording of us. Maybe they thought they were only catching a couple of party crashers and wanted to fuck with us, or they might’ve known you were associated with Thomas Highsmith. But I feel like I’m missing something important.”

“Either way, you have something they want,” Rae said. “And I can’t risk my family by not doing what Bobby asked.”

A muscle along Dayton’s jaw twitched. “You’re right.” He got up and went inside the house. When he came back, he handed her the flash drive.

“You already saved a copy, didn’t you?”

“What do you think?”

She stood up and sighed, relief washing over her. “Thank you.”

Dayton held her arms, pulling her into an embrace. “Can we be done with lies now?”

She nodded into his chest, the sound of his steady heartbeat comforting to her.

“Good.” He stroked her hair. “Now go destroy it.”

CHAPTER 51

RAE

2009

Living with the Reids was like dressing up for Halloween every day, everyone pretending to be something they weren’t. The masks never came off around Rae, and she wasn’t sure if she wanted to see Marilyn and Ben without them. Since overhearing their argument her first night in their home, she knew she could never relax too much with them. She had to be a perfect guest, keeping everything clean at all times and attending church with them on Sundays, so they wouldn’t throw her out.

Everything was for Lily. She’d only been with the Reids for three weeks, but it felt like so much longer. A little over a month before Lily was due, and then she’d find the cheapest place she could afford with the money she was saving.

After her first week with them, the Reids went back to work during the day, leaving Rae on her own until she’d pick up Katelyn for them in the afternoons. That was her trade-off for living with them—being a babysitter. It was the one good thing about living there, being able toplay with Katelyn. She was such a sweet girl, always singing and dancing around the house like a fairy child, sprinkling joy everywhere she went. It was the only time Rae could be herself.

She was sitting on the floor in Katelyn’s bedroom playing Barbies with the girl, unsure if she would be able to get back up on her own, when Katelyn dug out a baby doll from her toy box.

“This one is you,” Katelyn said, holding up a Barbie with blondish hair. Rae had stopped dyeing her hair, so her strawberry-blonde was growing out. “And this one is my baby sister.”

Rae smiled. “Oh, is your mommy pregnant?” Marilyn hadn’t said anything about being pregnant, but she knew they had experienced a failed IVF attempt again shortly before Rae arrived.

“Um ... no.” Katelyn kept playing with her dolls, her expression confused. “Mommy told Daddy Jesus brought you here. She said you came to give them a miracle baby. Like me!”

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