Page 17 of Hurt for Me

Rae felt Beth’s chest, which was moving slower and slower with each shallow breath.

“You gave her too much. Look! She’s not breathing right.”

“Yeah, man,” Bobby, Clint’s partner said, “maybe you should check on her.”

Fear skipped across Clint’s face, but he didn’t immediately move from the couch. When he finally came back over to the kitchen, he knelt and touched Beth’s wrist. Then he listened to her chest for a long time and let out a succinct “Fuck.”

“Oh, my God, hon,” Viv said, bringing Rae back to the present. Viv was crying with her, holding her on the couch. “You don’t have to tell me any more. It’s okay ... it’s okay.”

Rae was glad for it. Remembering Beth—it was like cutting her arm off with a knife, like the climber trapped in the canyon—but she could never escape all she should’ve done.

CHAPTER 12

RAE

2024

Rae poured herself more of the malbec that Angel brought over for Sunday dinner. They were quiet as they ate spaghetti across from each other, Lily oblivious to the heavy tension at the dining table.

Rae kept replaying Detective Clearwater’s words in her head. Her old name had come out of his mouth, and she couldn’t move her body once she heard it. She couldn’t feel her swollen feet from working all day or her growing headache. She was like a ghost rising from the grave, a grave she thought she had dug so deep that no one would find her again.

The detective’s expression had softened some as if he knew she was in shock. “Listen, I found out about your name change on my own, and I don’t plan to share the information with anyone else. I can see you don’t want that to happen. But I need your cooperation. I need your client records.” When she said nothing, he added, “I promise you, no information will go beyond this investigation. Your daughter won’t know. No one will know. Okay?”

And Rae had forced herself to nod.

Angel wasn’t angry with Rae about releasing the client records to Detective Clearwater, but Rae knew she wasn’t exactly happy about it. She was, after all, co-owner of their business, a business in jeopardy if the list of clients made it into the wrong hands. She didn’t understand why Rae had given in so easily to the police, and Rae couldn’t tell her. Angel knew most of Rae’s past, but she didn’t know about the parts that could place her in danger. Only one other person knew those parts of her life. She couldn’t afford to make the same mistake again.

Rae gulped the second glass of red, welcoming the warmth down her throat and how it relaxed the tight muscles in her upper back. She rarely drank, although she did occasionally take a small dose of medical cannabis to help her sleep when her nightmares got too intense.

“Whoa, Mom, don’t you have clients tomorrow?” Lily said, moving the wine bottle away from Rae, who was seriously eyeing it again.

“Last week was rough for your mom, and this week isn’t looking much better.” Angel lifted the wine bottle to pour herself more before offering some to Rae, who shook her head.

“Looks like Mom’s not the only one who had it rough.” Lily looked between them. “Did someone die or something? Y’all are acting so weird.”

Rae plastered on a smile. “We’re fine, honey. We’ve just had a lot of demanding clients lately.”

“You can say that again.” Angel raised her glass in a half salute and downed her wine.

“Is that why you still can’t book Gabby’s mom for a massage?” Lily asked.

Rae widened her eyes at Angel, who swallowed her bite of salad.

“Um, yes,” Rae said. “We’re booked into next year, but she should be on the wait list.”

An indefinite wait list. Rae was still surprised her daughter had broken her rule about not giving out the spa’s phone number. Thebusiness wasn’t listed in any traditional sense. No one could easily look it up on Google, and it’s not like they had it listed on Yelp. The business was advertised on kink sites only, yet Lily had given Gabby the spa’s number for her mom, and now Rae and Angel had to deny the woman a booking when she called about every two months.

Sometimes, Rae wanted to give Angel the go ahead to book Gabby’s mom just so she could watch the woman’s face when she saw the dungeon and realized she wasn’t getting a deep-tissue massage. Hell, maybe she wouldn’t mind receiving the discipline she clearly never gave to her own disrespectful daughter, but Rae didn’t need any more rumors floating around that could get back to Lily.

“Maybe you should open on Saturdays and hire a new massage therapist,” Lily said, looking between her mom and Angel, her bite of spaghetti hovering over her plate. “Most spas are open on Saturdays, you know, and you do have a certain daughter who will be old enough to work soon. I could run the front for you.”

“Absolutely not,” Rae and Angel said in unison.

“Why not?”

Rae hated to see Lily’s disappointment, but she had to keep those parts of her life separate. It wasn’t about being ashamed of what she did. It was only to keep Lily from learning too much and asking questions Rae couldn’t answer without endangering her.

“Honey, as much as I’d love for you to work at the spa, it’s not possible. Our clients are rich snobs, and they would frown upon seeing a teenager at the front desk.” Rae gave Lily a reassuring smile. “Besides, I thought you and Klo were going to apply at Shimmers.”

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