Page 20 of Hurt for Me

“How—”

“I checked your duffel bag on the bus ride from California while you slept. And I’m not sorry about it. I had to make sure you weren’t hiding drugs or anything else I didn’t want in my home.”

“Were you ever going to say anything?”

Viv pulled her throw blanket over her legs and leaned back into the couch. “I was going to if you didn’t say anything this week.”

“But ... when you spanked me, weren’t you worried it’d hurt the baby?”

“No, because I had no intention of doing anything else with you. I knew you weren’t emotionally prepared for it anyway.”

Rae brushed her tears away. “I wasn’t.”

“What we need to do now is get you to a Planned Parenthood.”

Rae sat up straight and shook her head. “I’m going to keep it.”

“Yeah, I assumed that much with the vitamins, hon. You know Planned Parenthood isn’t only for abortion services, right? They can make sure you and your baby are healthy. I used them a lot before I was able to purchase my own health insurance.”

This was all new to Rae. The way politicians and church leaders spoke in Oklahoma, you would think that all Planned Parenthood did was murder babies.

“Did you ever use them for an abortion?” she asked Viv.

“I did. Once. And I don’t regret it.” Her eyes had that faraway look she got whenever she talked about her past. “I was about your age, and I was too into drugs to even take care of myself at the time. I was lucky my aunt Cynthia helped me with it.” She shook her head, smiling. “I’m sure she went to confessional a thousand times afterward.”

“Didn’t it make you sad to do it?”

Viv repositioned the throw blanket so it covered Rae’s legs too. “No. I feel thankful I had the choice. And maybe someday I’ll get the itch to have a kid but most likely not. I’ve never felt the desire.”

“But you’d be an awesome mother.” She wanted to tell Viv she was a better mom than her own had ever been.

“Thank you, hon, but being a mother is not the same aswantingto be a mother.”

Rae’s eyes filled again. She never knew if her mom desired to be a mother, but she had sure sounded like one to that unknown little girl Rae had heard during her phone call weeks prior. That day, Rae knew one truth: her mother didn’t want to be a mom to her. And she would never understand why. As much as she dissected every interaction she ever had with her mother growing up, she could never pinpoint a reason why her mother didn’t want her.

She looked at Viv. Beautiful Viv, with her full lips always ready to smile or laugh or sing some silly song as she taught Rae how to cook. Viv, who gave without any expectation.

“I wish you could be my mom.”

“I’m too young to be your mom. But I could be your hot older sister.” She playfully nudged Rae under the blanket, and they both laughed.

“I love you, Viv.”

Viv’s dark eyes grew misty. “I love you too.”

Rae leaned over and hugged her. She couldn’t get enough of feeling Viv’s strong arms holding her close, and she inhaled the familiar floral sweetness of her perfume, hoping against hope the bad men would never find them.

CHAPTER 14

RAE

2024

By the time Rae dropped Lily off at school, the bright Monday morning was already hot enough to make her lower back wet with sweat, and they were barely into May. Luckily, her first client wasn’t until ten, so she could freshen up before squeezing herself into her Domme outfit.

Angel was at the front desk looking over the day’s schedule on the computer. Or at least that’s what Rae thought she was doing until she saw her friend’s face.

Angel didn’t even look up from the monitor as she said, “Did you see it yet?”

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