Page 47 of Holiday Haven

He'd tried her apartment, but she wasn't there either. The windows were dark and there was no sign of her car in the parking lot. It didn't take a genius to figure out she wasn't home. He tried calling, but her phone had gone to voicemail as if she’d turned it off. He hadn't bothered to leave a message.

Better that he apologize in person.

It took him several hours to get everything arranged for Joy and Nancy. He'd interviewed Nancy with the sign language interpreter nearby, to make sure there were no drug or alcohol related issues. By the time he'd finished, he was convinced that Nancy’s deafness and getting behind on her mortgage were the reasons she'd given up the baby. In talking the situation over with Shirley, they'd agreed to keep Joy in the hospital until the day after Christmas. He needed time to work with the bank, and to arrange the resources the mother and daughter would need moving forward. Nancy could spend the nights in Joy’s room with her until then.

If only it was as easy to fix things with Krista. She had to work until eleven-thirty that night, giving him little choice but to wait for her to get off before they could talk.

He spent some time at his parents’ house, helping to get food ready for the Monroe family celebration. He'd asked his family to move their gathering up to an earlier time on Christmas Day, knowing Krista would be off work in the morning and therefore able to attend.

If he could convince her to give him another chance.

He finished his Christmas shopping, spending a solid hour picking out the proper gift for Krista. By eleven o’clock that night, he couldn't stand waiting another minute. Even though he knew she still had a half hour left on her shift, he drove to Children's Memorial, his Christmas gift wrapped and sitting on the seat beside him.

Tucking the small gift wrapped box in his pocket, he made his way to the sixth floor. When he saw Krista walking off the unit with a small group of nurses, he realized he'd almost missed her. They must have gotten out earlier than usual.

“Krista? Do you have a minute?”

She didn't smile but paused and slowly nodded. “Sure.”

He waited until the rest of the nursing staff had left them alone. Taking her arm in his hand, he steered her toward the small waiting area outside the unit. Thankfully it was empty. The Christmas tree in the corner gave the room a festive look.

How should he start? He took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “I'm sorry, Krista. You shouldn't have found out about how I lost my son the way you did. I should have told you the truth myself.”

She didn't seem angry but regarded him thoughtfully. “Why didn't you?”

He was silent for a long moment. There were lots of reasons, but there was really only one that mattered. “Because his death was my fault.”

“Your fault?” She frowned. “Danielle's miscarriage was your fault?”

“Yes. I was arguing with her that night, while driving. We argued a lot back in those days.” That was an understatement. “I didn't see the truck coming straight at us until it was too late.”

“Oh, Adam.” She reached for his hand. He fought the urge to pull her closer, to lose himself in her embrace. “Danielle told me the accident was caused by a truck running a red light. That's not your fault.”

“It was my fault.” He stared down at their clasped hands. “There was time to avoid the crash. I tried to veer out of the way. But it was too late.”

After a pause she said, “I don't agree. Would it have been your fault if you were laughing over some silly joke, instead of arguing?”

Her question caught him off guard. If he and Danielle had been laughing, having fun before the crash, would he still be plagued by guilt? “I don't know. Maybe. I should have been paying attention.”

“That truck ran a red light. That’s not easy to anticipate even if you are paying attention. I don't blame you for your son's death.” Her smile was sad. “It is not up to us to question God's plan. Not to mention, Jesus forgives our sins. I think you need to find a way to forgive yourself.”

“I'm trying,” he admitted. “Because of you.”

She blinked. “Me?”

“Yes. Losing Abe was bad enough but losing you would be so much worse. When you ditched me at the hospital last night, I nearly went crazy looking for you.” He pulled the small, gift-wrapped box out of his pocket and handed it to her. “Will you please open this?”

She hesitated so long he thought she was going to refuse. Then she took the box and slowly unwrapped it. Her eyes widened when she saw the jeweler’s box, and she flipped little the lid open, her gaze full of hope mixed with trepidation.

She stared at the ring. What was wrong? Did she hate diamonds? He should have asked, rather than assuming. Danielle had wanted to pick out her own engagement ring. He should have anticipated Krista would want to do the same.

“If you don't like it, we can exchange it for something else.” His words sounded stiff and awkward to his own ears.

“I don't understand.” Her gaze held confusion. “Why are you giving this to me?”

What was not to understand? He frowned. “Because I love you.”

“You love me?” He couldn’t tell if she was happy or sad. “I want to believe you, Adam. But every time you're hurt or upset, you close yourself off from me. I have to be honest—that isn't exactly the foundation of a loving relationship.”

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