Page 44 of Holiday Haven

She wandered from one store to the next, not seeing anything, her stomach knotted to the point of acute pain. She thought it had been difficult before, when she'd had a crush on Adam while he'd belonged to Danielle. This feeling of loss was much, much worse.

Because she loved him. Loved him with her entire heart and soul. And wanted the same in return.

He kept so much of his personal life hidden away from her. Had Danielle felt the same way? Had Adam refused to share every aspect of his life with her sister? Was that why they had broken up? It was still difficult to grasp that her sister had miscarried a baby and never told her. Had Adam pulled away from her then, as well? Was his lack of emotion part of what had broken them up after the miscarriage?

Her head ached with the effort of holding back tears. She really needed to get a grip on her emotions. Feeling this level of acute devastation wasn't healthy.

She stood in front of a bright Christmas display without seeing the flash of lights, or the colorful ornaments on the tree. All she could think about was how glad she was that to be scheduled to work the holiday. Maybe she could work a double shift. Sitting home alone would have been so much worse.

Lost in her misery, she didn't realize how many hours had passed until the mall shops began to close. With a start, she glanced at her watch, realizing it was nine o’clock at night.

She trudged to her car, dreading the idea of going home when she needed someone to talk to. Not that she had another option. Flying to London to be with her sister wasn't possible when she was committed to work over the next few days.

Could she call her sister? London was six hours ahead. If she called Danielle now it would be the middle of the night.

No, she’d have to wait until the morning. Danielle was a night owl, but not even her sister stayed up on a routine basis until the wee hours of the morning.

Mr. Baumgartner was sprinkling sand on the sidewalks when she arrived at her apartment.

“Hello, Mr. Baumgartner,” she greeted him as she approached.

The older man looked up at her. “The Olsons have given their notice, they're moving out of their two-bedroom apartment on February 1st. Are you still interested in upgrading your place?”

She paused, realizing there was no need now that Joy's mother had likely been found. Although there had been no sign of the woman yet. She nodded. She still intended to become a foster mother. If not for Joy, then for the next small baby who needed her. She'd have a family, one way or another. “Yes,” she said. “I’m very interested.”

“Fine, I’ll slot you in.” Mr. Baumgartner shook another handful of sand on the sidewalk. “If you change your mind for some reason, let me know. I won't advertise until after the first of the year anyway.”

“Thanks. I won't change my mind.” She walked past him, using her key to let her into the apartment building.

Instead of trying to get some sleep, she sat for hours, doing the math and figuring out ways to financially swing the more expensive two-bedroom apartment the Olsens would be vacating.

The idea of being a foster mother helped ease her despair. She wanted to help take care of children in need. Kids like her and Danielle, who desperately needed a family. And taking control of her life felt good. Or at least dulled the pain of losing Adam.

Losing him wasn't exactly the right phrase. Obviously she'd never had him in the first place.

She stared at her notes. One extra overtime shift at pay period would carry her through the next few months until she had her credit card bill paid off. After that she'd be in the clear. If she worked hard enough and watched her expenses, she could make the two bedroom apartment work.

Unlike Adam's feelings toward her, which she could not change, no matter how much she wished she could. The way he closed himself off from others, especially from her, was something he needed to change on his own.

If he wanted to.

* * *

The next morningKrista dragged herself out of bed with a groan, rubbing her gritty, red rimmed eyes. She hadn't slept much but needed to get ready for work. Besides, she wanted to go in early to spend time with Joy. If the baby was still there. She’d felt certain Adam had intended to discharge the baby yesterday.

And she also needed to bring the Christmas gifts she'd purchased for the unit.

Her cell phone rang and she tensed, wondering if the caller was Adam. A glance at the screen though proved it wasn’t. “Hello?”

“Krista?” Danielle's husky voice flowed over the line. “How are you?”

“Great.” She forced cheerfulness into her tone. “I'm glad you called. I was thinking of you last night.” The baby her sister and Adam had lost had weighed heavily on her mind, but today she decided there was no reason to bring it up. Adam was still upset over the loss, whereas Danielle had moved on.

“I've been thinking about you. too.” Danielle's bubbly tone was infectious. “How do you feel about taking a trip out here to see me?”

This was the first time Danielle had offered to have Krista come and visit. Surprised and pleased, she answered, “Wow, I would love to, but I don't think I can swing it financially. Maybe some day, though. I miss you, Danielle. I'd love to see you again.”

“I miss you, too.” A deep voice murmured in the background. Her sister obviously wasn’t alone. “Listen, Mario wants you to know he’ll help foot the bill for your trip here. In fact, he’s the reason I called. Mario has asked me to marry him and I've accepted.”

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