Page 51 of My Best Friend's Grump Brother

It could affect me.

Seb stared at me, completely and utterly perplexed. This was not me. I didn’t behave like this, but here I was making a damned fool of myself. I had been acting all out of sorts for weeks. It had been easier to be civil when I would get her in small doses, but now that she was intertwined in my life, it was far harder for me to keep it together.

“Do you not think that maybe your reservations about Selena have nothing to do with her but more so you?” Seb leaned against the kitchen counter. “She is everything that is polar opposite to you, but she is also everything that you wished you could have been when you were younger.”

I leaned my hands on the counter, completely dumbfounded at his words. “What do you mean?” I asked.

“I mean exactly that. You were forced to grow up far earlier than any kid should have. You were handed an empire and expected to make it thrive before you were even legal to drink. A lot was placed on your shoulders when your dad got sick. Not to mention the fact that you had to tackle it all on your own. You had no one to help shoulder that burden with you.”

The silence that filled the room was thick and almost suffocating.

“You were never allowed to make mistakes. You were never allowed to fall out of place. Your parents demanded perfection from you because anything less would have meant failure. Your emotions have been turned off for so damn long you can’t even figure out what is what when it filters through you.”

His words were like a punch to the gut.

“This girl awakens you, brother, in ways that you deemed impossible. She shows you glimpses of who you missed out on being and challenges the structure you have built for yourself. It’s why she irks you, and you can’t seem to shake her from your head. Selena isn’t what you expected, but I think she is exactly what you need.”

Was it true? Was this why she had been such a sensitive spot for me? Did I lash out here because she was everything I wished I could have been? Reckless, spontaneous and free? All the things I should have been when I was younger.

Shit. I had treated her like she was worthless when she had done nothing wrong. She was not the problem. I was. I was the one who longed to be like her. I yearned for her because she represented a different path, a path without expectation or perfection. A path for normalcy.

I was a man who had accumulated billions of dollars, and each year, I was set to earn more. I could buy anything I wanted in this world. But the one thing that had not been within reach was the one thing that could not be priced.

Freedom.

Freedom to make my own mistakes. Freedom to live the life I wanted and had chosen for myself. Freedom to dream. To hope. To live.

I moved my head up and looked at my best friend. He had seen the very best of me, and he had been the only one to see the very worst of me. He had seen me at my most broken and vulnerable, and that had only ever been once when my father died. My family was dismantled, and an empire was waiting for its heir to take the crown.

“You are one strong motherfucker, Daniel Sinclair. I have seen men who have braved war zones, and bullets crumble sooner before you. But you don’t need to be strong, at least not around the people who love and care for you. Let go of the need for perfection. Let go of trying to be superhuman. Just live and be you.”

I didn’t even know how to do that, even if I wanted to. I had been playing this role for so long that I had no idea who Daniel Sinclair was. I had no idea what I wanted out of life. I had no idea what excited him. I had no idea what made him happy.

She does.

Those two words whispered in the emptiness of my chest. They were soft, but they echoed through me like a blood-curdling scream.

“I fucked up.”

That was an understatement. I had done so much more than that. I had destroyed the one thing that had felt the most real in my life aside from my family. “I fucked up, royally.”

Seb gave me a knowing smile, “oh, I know. I think everyone knows that you did. I’m your best friend, but Selena is Claire’s, and I would be remiss to say that Selena is a once-in-a-lifetime kind of woman. The scars she carries run far deeper than you and I will ever have the privilege of knowing. If you are not ready to hold her heart with care, then I need to tell you right now to walk away. If you cannot give her peace, at least don’t take what little she has left from her.”

I was a little taken aback by his words. I didn’t know that he and Selena had such a close bond. It was not only his protection of her, but his words. I wanted to ask questions, but now was not the time for it.

“I don’t want to hurt her anymore. We had sex before dinner, and I know I am falling for her. If I hadn’t been already this whole time” I hung my head low. “I messed up, and I get that. This had all been my mistake and my wrongdoing.” I looked up to see surprise in Seb’s eyes.

“Really?? OK. Now the question is, what are you going to do about it?”

That was the one question that I had no answer to. The only thing that I knew was that I would do whatever it took, hell, I would get on my hands and knees and beg this woman to give me another chance.

Chapter twenty-three

I’m Out

Selena

Thefirecrackedinthe pit as I sat in my chair, looking out to the lake. The night was peaceful here, unlike in Chicago, where there was never a moment of silence. There was always something at every corner, but here…you could find solace in the silence.

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