Page 30 of Fearless

If you’d have asked me even a month ago if I thought I’d ever feel anything for the latter two, I’d have laughed in your face.

But here we are.

One broken woman.

Three very dangerous men.

What could possibly go wrong?

Lowering the pen, I close the notebook feeling… lighter, I guess

My feelings over the past three weeks have been nothing but a roller coaster. They’ve been up, down, and thrown all around. I’ve been incredibly high and also unbelievably low.

But figuring out how I feel about my men has helped to settle something inside me.

I’ll always love Mav, that has never been in question.

But the magnetism I felt toward JD from early on in my time here, and the irritation and anger toward Reid, even if much of it was faked, have all smoothed out into one overriding feeling.

It’s as overwhelming as it is surprising.

But also, it feels like the most natural thing in the world.

When we’re together, everything feels right.

Even if I do want to throttle them with my bare hands.

Turning my attention back to my sleeping husband, I watch him as the rain continues to hit the window behind him.

I try to imagine him standing up to Reid and JD back at the safe house, telling them that they were wrong for wanting to keep me in the dark.

Just a few weeks ago, any kind of rational conversation among the three of them would be unbelievable. But now, despite the discussion not going Mav’s way, I know that Reid, in some capacity at least, would have listened.

I sit there for the longest time with my head spinning, but thankfully, as the time passes, my anger and fear continue to lessen.

Eventually, my need to get something to eat and drink gets the better of me, and I’m forced to abandon my notebook and pen on the table and slip out of the room.

Halfway down the stairs, the comforting scent of Reid’s cooking fills my nose and it makes my stomach growl.

Eating with everyone in the safe house feels like a lifetime ago now.

The rich tomatoey scent only gets stronger as I approach the kitchen and the growing volume of voices.

Reid, JD, and Aubrey banter back and forth, all of them giving as good as they get and laughing all the while.

The sounds of their happiness make the hairs on the back of my neck lift.

I step into the doorway unnoticed, allowing me a rare few seconds to study these mind-blowing people in their relaxed state.

My heart thumps against my ribs as I run my eyes over Reid and JD, who are sitting on the same couch, both laughing with wide smiles on their faces.

Any evidence of the recent stress and drama they’ve been through has been momentarily banished as they enjoy themselves.

It’s mesmerizing.

I don’t move. Hell, I don’t think I even breathe as I watch them, but something alerts Griff to my presence and he turns his dark eyes on me.

My breath catches as his lips twitch in greeting.

---